Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Hells Kitchen - Episode 2

Welcome back to Hells Kitchen. Where the restaurant is fake, the drama is high, and Gordon curses a lot. It's an extremely repetitive show, and I'm addicted. I love it. I love Gordon. I also watch Kitchen Nightmares, but that season just ended. Just to be fair, I also watched the BBC Kitchen Nightmares as well to see if he acts any different. He doesn't. But the tone of the show is completely different purely because they don't feel the need to add super intense dramatic music every single second of the show. It's one of the things I wish I could change about American TV. It would be a small change, but it would have a big impact on how we watch TV.

Going back to Hells Kitchen. I'm going to cover the first episode because it's sort of a throw away episode. They chefs all get together, they meet Gordon in Vegas. The prize this year is his new pub at Caesar's Palace. They make their signature dishes. Some do great, and some do badly. Inevitably it comes down to a last dish and the win goes to the women on the red team. There are definitely some characters on this season. I'm tired of the whole "live audience" thing. They've been starting to incorporate it into a lot of my shows. Top Chef, RuPaul's Drag Race, Face Off. There's no need. It adds nothing and makes it feel less personal and real. The women got to stay in Vegas and meet/see Celine Dion. I have to wonder if they had a different performer picked out, had the men won. I don't think they'd be super excited to see her concert. Ah well. The boys had to ride on a school bus back to LA. That normally would take 4 hours, via car. But in a took much longer (8.5 hours), with no air. Not to mention the fact that Sebastian talked NONSTOP the whole way.  We did meet Gina's "friend".

For real. A puppet. Good hell. I want to kill her already. During prep, she's also struck with a strange "issue" where she can't function. She goes to see the medic and that's where we leave off.

This season's intro they've decided to go with a Transformers theme and have robots attacking the chefs. Each season this thing gets more and more ridiculous. At least when it was kitchen items attacking them, it made a little more sense.

And now, the continuation of Hells Kitchen. We enter as Gina goes to see the medic. It all seems very serious. The medic asks her if she knows her name, where she is. She says, yeah, she's fine. She was standing there and she got really overwhelmed. The medic says it best.

She says she needs to relax her system. He keeps trying to make sure she's actually ok and it's very obvious she's a pussy. That's all. She even said, "I just don't wanna be in the kitchen". WHAT?! How did she even make the cut for this show? Did she not know it was going to be intense? So she goes upstairs and makes herself some coffee, tweezes her eyebrows, and does her hair. For real? She's gotta go.

Jeremy is struggling to keep up with everything and is proving his lack of experience by proving he doesn't know how to make things. He's 22. He's purely cannon fodder. Gina comes back into the kitchen just as they're finishing up prep. Gordon gathers the troops and decides to make the overly ridiculous promise that they WILL finish their service tonight. On the first episode? Has he never seen this show before? They hardly even finish the service halfway through.

JP IS BACK! Yay! No more of that other horrible guy. I'll take my Belgium man over that flamboyancy stereotype any day!

They're already doing table-side services as well. This week it's mussels. They are really trying to screw themselves quickly. Gina decides she wants to make scallops and flips them 100x over and over again. The girls all complain. Gordon comes over and asks who cooked them. Everyone is ready for her to get screamed at. Nope. He says they're perfect. Oh man.

Sebastian screws up early by bringing up undercooked risotto. Dude was talking a big game on the bus. But surprise, surprise, there's no follow through. Nedra and Gina are already showing signs of being mortal enemies. Neither one wants to talk to the other and give times. Gina's scallops are raw. She decides that she's GOING to cook scallops and instead of someone taking over them, she thinks someone should change stations with Nedra on risotto. Once again, the scallops are RAWR! (I use rawr affectionately from another recapper) Gina gets kicked out and she's up in the dorm, again primping her face.

The men are starting to get it together. Zach (who I will called Wyclef, because that name fits better than Zach) is getting killed by Sebastian sucking at his section. He then calls Wyclef, Zachie Wackie. Not joking. Gordon calls him out on it, and kicks him out. He then tries to sneak his way back in. Gordon kicks him out again. Like Gordon won't notice?

Over in the red, Gordon reads off a ticket and the girls all respond with a loud, "yes chef" all except one. Danielle. She has never worked on a brigade before, and yet she's classified as a head chef. She is out of her depth. We'll see how long she lasts.

Without Sebastian to screw up the apps the blue kitchen is working more efficiently. That's generally a sign that he's going home soon. Michael brags about how he cooks lamb every day, so obviously he sends up his lamb and it's raw.

The girls try their attempt at lamb. Jessica is trying to cut the it after it's rested. It takes her a full 4 minutes (they actually show the clock) to cut the meat. At this point, she's screwed the other girls. I'm not super confident in cutting meat myself, but for real. She's gone to culinary school. She shouldn't have such trouble with this. It turns out to be perfectly cooked. She just needs to learn to cut faster.

Michael's second attempt at the lamb is still not cooked. The guys pressure him into taking it up to the pass, despite him saying it's not done. While this is happening, THIS is happening.

Sebastian is making his third attempt to get back into the kitchen. I get that he doesn't want to give up. But you're pushing the limits here. You'll be lucky if he doesn't kick you off the show right there in the kitchen. He's done it before. Along with him he takes Barrett and Michael. Barrett is right to be pissed. He only overcooked one of the wellington's.

Danielle is dying in the garnish station. Garnish seems to bite a lot of people in the ass. It doesn't sound like it would be hard, but they have to keep garnishing for both apps and entrees. Susan gets kicked out instead of Danielle for some reason. And then when Danielle tries to figure out the dishes with Gordon, he gives up and kicks her out as well. Remember how he promised a full finished service?

Wyclef tries to tell Jeremy to turn down the heat on his pan because the kale literally caught fire. Jeremy's response, "You worry about your station and I'll worry about mine." He's trying to help, man! He then can't repeat the orders that Gordon asks him to. He's kicked out next. They're going down fast.

Who the hell is that? I haven't seen her in either of the two episodes...did they just throw her in? I'm really confused. She's not doing anything. Gordon sent an order out without the garnish, and the lady brought it back asking for the potatoes. That one's on Gordon. Random girl gets thrown out because instead of hustling she is looking for her water bottle. Gone. Kicked out.

Dan gets kicked out of the kitchen too for scorching risotto to the bottom of the pan. That puts the men down by 6. Gordon goes and ask the old man on the men's team to taste it.

For real? You put your grimy hands in someone's food that's going to be sent out? Spoons aren't good enough, or plentiful enough? Gone. 7 down. 

Now someone else gets kicked out for bad risotto. Wyclef might just be the only one left, and he's puking his guts out in the back. He needs a minute. He even pukes in his interview. Gordon asks if he's ok. He finsihes the services by himself.

The chefs that got exiled are all discussing why they got kicked out and why they shouldn't have. Danielle says that almost no kitchens work in a brigade system anymore. I've never worked in a kitchen. But I'm gonna go head and call bullshit on that. She even asks the people in the room who has worked in a brigade before, and they ALL raise their hands. She clearly is delusional.

The remaining women are going strong and team Wyclef is living for this service. I don't think the blue team is going to win, but if they could still give it to someone, I think the win should go to him. He earned it.

They did complete service. And then win goes to the red. He does gives accolades to Wyclef for his leadership. Blue has to go pick 2 chefs to be up for elimination. Sebastian's name is thrown out first and then Michael gets thrown out too. Jeremy is the next name thrown out. "You don't even know where I'm from!" I hate when people say this. Does that make any difference? Whether you're from the baddest part of town or the richest part of town, it shouldn't be a brought up. It doesn't matter. He then says that no one has even tasted his food, but he asked them too. Wyclef asks them if Jeremy asked them and no one says yes. I'll say it again. Cannon fodder. You're goin' home early kid. You're 22. There is no way in hell you're ready to be an executive chef for Gordon Ramsey.

First nominee is Jeremy.

He looks confused and surprised, and slightly constipated. You really shouldn't be. Wyclef called him arrogant, and Gordon asked if he was. Jeremy said he lashed out, but he wasn't arrogant. The second nominee is Sebastian. Zachie Wackie was his error.

Gordon accepts their offerings. Sebastian admits that one of his biggest problems can be his attitude and he knows that but that he loves to cook. Jeremy says he's fought for everything in his life and he will fight for this job. The person leaving Hells Kitchen is Sebastian. "It's a kitchen, not a place for comedians."

Sebastian is disappointed but he doesn't blame anyone but himself. At least he's leaving like an adult. The chefs are told to get outta here. Jeremy is way in over his head along with Danielle. I hope Wyclef doesn't let me down. He's an early pick for me.

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