Hello, hello, hello! Again, apologies for all the missed episodes in between, including the sensational Snatch Game with Little Edie reincarnate via Jinkx. If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY suggest you go back and watch it. She did Little Edie proud! So most of those who you assumed would go home, did. The ridiculous drama continues between Alyssa Edwards and Coco. Coco is turning out to be the true bitch and problem in the situation. Roxxy Andrews has turned out to be something of a mean girl herself, and as much as I've loved Detox for my new Raven...she's proving to be a little too salty for my taste as well. Alaska has decided to step away from Rolaskatox, which, hopefully means our ears can stop bleeding from their announcements every week.
Last week the girls roasted RuPaul and the judges and it was once again confirmed that Jinkx is a rising star and a true comedian. Alaska also did extremely well, but the winner somehow managed to be Coco. I have to admit, her character of one of Ru's friends from back in the Bronx was pretty funny. Alyssa and Roxxy bombed. Hard. And when they lip-synced to the most ridiculous song (Whip My Hair), Roxxy got the vibes she was going home, so she used her past to get a pass out of sashaying away and they both stayed. It wasn't too surprising 2 queens stayed when there was the surprise double elimination a few weeks ago. Roxxy also has been going after my Jinkxy hardcore, claiming her insecurities are all fabricated for show. Leave my vintage queen alone, bitch!
And now...the continuation of RuPaul's Drag Race (if you can't tell, that's a precursor for another show I'll be covering...so stay tuned!) Roxxy opens up by saying she's never cried about her mom leaving her at a bus stop. I find that a little hard to believe, but I understand that she decided to be angry instead of sad. She admits she took out her anger (derived from her insecurity) out on Jinkx, and she apologizes. It seems to go over well. Detox is annoyed that no one went home.
Then there's Coco. She goes on bragging, directly to Alaska and Jinkx that she beat them in a comedy challenge. She puts her arms around them and is laughing and bragging. I wanna choke the bitch. Alaska is frustrated that she hasn't won yet at all. She thought that the roast was hers to win.
We got She Mail! Ru talks a lot about smells and scents. She tells them not to funk it up. A quaky change up. Ru calls in the pit crew, and instead of just the standard 2, we get a whole screen of seemingly never-ending delicious sculpted topless men. I sometimes wonder if they're all gay, or if some are straight and are just looking for a way to get paid. We're introduced to Andrew Christian, a designer of men's underwear. The challenge is to play Whatcha Packin'? It's a sassy game of memory. The queens have to find the matching pair of underwear. The pitcrew drops their pants and reveals their bits and pieces.
This would be so hard to concentrate on! The way they take their pants down is so overly sexual. The girls go one at a time while the others are waiting outside. Ru says he doesn't know why, but he's craving a corndog. Aren't we all, hunty? The winner is declared as Ivyyyyy Winterrrrss! She wins a phone call home. She's going to call her momma when the time comes. This weeks main challenge is to create their own signature fragrance, along with bottle design, slogan and commercial.
Roxxy is excited that comedy is off the table, and not to be expected. I'd have to disagree. Every challenge has a certain amount of comedy to it. Isn't part of being a drag queen being funny? As a heterosexual woman, who can only dream of looking like a drag queen, I can't say from experience, but from every episode to date, Ru tells them to make sure it's funny. So I don't know why these pageant girls come in, and think it's just about your look. It's never just about your face. The fishy girls don't always win. Unless your Raja.
Ivy tells us that she's even thought about going to school for making perfumes. Seriously? Is that something someone really thinks about doing? I saw a movie called Perfume...it didn't go so well. And it ended in the biggest orgy I've ever seen. City-wide. Seriously. Look it up. Alaska tells us she's going with her gut and running straight forward with it so she doesn't have to doubt herself. She's using things like dirt and leather in her scent.
Jinkxy smells something else in the air. Ivy comes over to talk to her about what she's working on. Jinkxy tells us that she's got a little crush on Ivy. I don't think we've had an official admission of interest on this show before. When Ivy tells her that the name of her perfume is going to be Poison Rosebud, Jinkx laughs and says, "You know that's another word for asshole, right?" and Ivy admits that yes she knew that. Maybe I'm out of the loop, but I didn't know that. It sort of ruins flowers a little bit...Ivy admits to loving Jinkx like a sister but there's no romance admitted from her point of view.
Ru comes in for her Tim Gunn talk. He tells Alaska that the name Red has been used before for a perfume and she should consider something else. Roxxy comes up with Thick n' Juicy.
Like her. It apparently smells like food. She wants her perfume to make people feel confident. She says it smells like maple and jasmine. Ru tells her it smells like Ihop. Yuck. I love pancakes and waffles and all things breakfast, but I don't want to smell that way. Coco is doing some deranged French animal thing. She's kissing ass by calling it Ruanimal. Alyssa's doing Alyssa's Secret, but when Ru asks her what the secret is. We get this:
She hadn't thought of a secret. She says she wants the consumer to be able to fill in the blank with whatever their secret is. Ru ain't buying it. She's concerned. She should be. The queens are told that Michelle Visage will be their director for their commercials, along with Aubrey O'Day. Mmk, I had to look up who she was. I guess I'm not up and current. She was part of Danity Kane and she's a model. The queens seem excited.
Jinkx is up first and her perfume is called Delusion. She's setting up her stage with 2 pit crew members as they've just had a three-way. Michelle tells her the way she's filming it makes it seem like it's a dildo ad. Shocking! She's going a little crazy, but her perfume is called Delusion, it makes sense. Aubrey jumps in there to show her what she looks like.
Class. All the way. Jinkx didn't even do that. I think she was just jealous. Ivy is up next and she says she picked New York City as her backdrop, because she lives there. She hands the picture to Michelle, and she tells her that in fact, the picture is of Tokyo. Oops. That's embarassasing. She's all over the map on her ad. She's wobbling around more than a baby giraffe learning to walk. You'd think the girl had never worn heels before. She's also changed her name to Dress Code instead of Poisoned Rosebud.
Coco is up next. This is her background and outfit.
I get that you're doing animal theme. You don't need to hit me over the head with it. She's got this weird French accent too. You're not Charlize Therone selling Dior. You're a man who's junk it tucked and you're selling a fake perfume on reality TV. Get it right. And stop using so much orange on your face. It's like you went face first into a tub of Tang.
Detox is next. Her scent is called Heroine. It's a double play on the two meanings of the word. Her commercial seems kind of boring to me. Michelle and Aubrey aren't getting it either.
Alyssa Edwards is next. She's a mess. Her commercial is a mess. Aubrey says she's not coming off as likeable.
Roxxy's commercial doesn't seem to go very well. She doesn't really have lines planned. She's winging it. Michelle calls her out on it.
Alaska's scent is called Red-To Filth. Clever! She's got some funny moments. Aubrey responds positively, for once. She's sort of a Debbie-downer.She didn't have nice things to say about anyone but Alaska. Does that mean good things for her later?
Their runway looks are supposed to be them as their scent spokesperson. That's sort of an open ended option. Before they get to the runway, Jinkx admits to the girls (while Ivy is on her phone call home, that's entirely uneventful) that she has a crush on Ivy. She thinks this could be the beginning of a relationship.
Runway! COVER GIRL! Sorry, but I have to yell that out whenever I watch it.
Ru looks like orange sherbert! And her hair looks like it feels like cotton candy. I'm always jealous of her arms. They looks perfect. Along with Aubrey, the other guest judge is Joan Van Ark, who was on Dallas. I had to look that up. Are you ashamed of me?
I'm sorry, but Aubrey has the scariest eyes and her boobs are out of control. Even on a panel that includes Michelle Visage. That's hard to do. She's scares me. Please don't invite her back, Ru.
Coco-Keeps it going with the animal theme. But her nose looks like she's painting for the Tin man from Oz.
Alaska-Head to toe in red. I love it. But I love the color red. It's a new look for her. And she needed a new look soon.
Ivy Winters-It looks sort of like a circus ring-leader outfit. It's a little too blah for me.
Detox-Trying for a couture look. It doesn't really work for me. But it's not terrible.
Alyssa-It's very '80's. I don't like it.
Jinkx-It's very '20's. I love it.
Roxxy-Not a good choice. The back is all open and bare, but it doesn't help her figure like she thinks it does.
Coco is up first. Her commercial is just all leopard. She gets called out for having the weird plastic lion head on the male model; saying it made it look gimmicky which didn't go with the rest of her theme. They like her dress though.
Alaska next. It's funny and clever. The judges are wild about it.
Ivy. She looks gittery and she sounds flat. She has a big costume reveal, but it's flat. All Ru has to say is, "Oh dear." Bottom for sure.
Detox gets a lot of laughs for her change in voice in her commercial. Her looks doesn't get the highest of praises from Santino.
Alyssa still doesn't tell us what her secret is. They don't even know what she's trying to sell. Aubrey tells her that she does a weird thing with her eyes, and since she's gotten read for it, she's passing along the tip that less is more. She needs to take her own advice.
Jinkx has her threesome scene and then it dissolves into her alone in an empty apartment. It's funny and adorable and great. Michelle loves her look this week. That's two weeks in a row! Keep it up!
Roxxy finally got her dialogue right. It's very average. Her background and outfit are kind of '70's roller-rink. It doesn't really work for me. Santino doesn't like the runway look.
They do smell the perfumes and these are the ones they commented on.
Alyssa's Secret-A Kardashian sex tape
Ruanimal- Mating time at the zoo
Red-For Filth-The only one I would wear, everything smells like Grandma's Vag (courtesy of Aubrey)
Dress Code-Smells like something my housekeeper used in the bathroom
Jinkx and Detox are called safe. Alaska is FINALLY a winner! "I can't say this win is overdue but it's right on time!" Perfect. Ivy Winters is up for elimination. Coco is safe (BOO!). Alyssa is up for elimination, leaving Roxxy to be safe. Alyssa is not happy to be up there twice in a row.
This weeks song is Ain't Nothing Going on but the Rent. Ivy decides she's not going to move around on the stage, she's going to stay in one area and rock it out from there. Neither one of them is absolutely killing it, but they're both doing an admirable job. Shantay Alyssa Edwards stays. Jinx is very sad to see Ivy sashay away. I didn't want to see Ivy go, but I didn't think she was gonna win it either.
Onto Untucked! The girls go into the silver lounge and Coco lets it out that she's pissed that she got read for having the "funny" part of her commercial in there. The funny part being the fake lion head. It becomes Jinkx vs Coco and Coco is just vicious and mean. She straight up tells her that based on what Jinkx is wearing, she gets called beautiful and she doesn't agree. Coco is huffin and puffin and saying that it's ridiculous that they aren't being judged on the same level because they're not of the same caliber. Detox and Alaska try and stick up for Jinkx (it's about damned time!) but Coco isn't hearing anything.
Alaska is in the same position as Jinkx because it comes down to pageant girls vs schtick girls. I can't imagine having to defend myself on a daily basis for how I present myself. Jinkx's style of drag IS legitimate and valid. Coco is a stuck up pageant bitch and she needs to go.
Peek a Ru, she sees you! They move over to the gold bar to discover what's in their pink furry box. The clue says that someone is cukcoo for Coco to take home the crown. They don't even try and make the queens guess who's getting a video from home this time. This has already been a Coco-centric episode, can we give someone else the spot light?
It's Coco's husband and he reminds her that her parents would be proud of her and that they love her. No one but Coco is tearing up. He ends with saying, "Who's your daddy?" It seems sort of inappropriate. Coco's parents both died of cancer less than a full year apart from each other. As someone who has lost a parent to cancer, it's a terrible life altering experience. So I can't give her any grief right now. It's not the typical sob-fest that Untucked has become lately.
Jinkx, Detox and Alyssa go back to the silver lounge and Alyssa admits her lip sync last week wasn't the best but this week, if she's in the bottom, she'll be bringing it. While back in the gold bar, the rest of the girls are complaining that they're still at 7 girls instead of 6. Roxxy has no doubt that she should've won hands down last week. The other girls agree.
The gold bar girls rip into Aubrey and how mean she was and they do impressions of her face. It's laugh out loud funny. It's disturbing.
Thus ends another chapter of the drag race. The challenges seem to be getting more in depth that in previous episodes. There hasn't really been a full on acting challenge like in seasons past. Maybe that's what's coming next.