Monday, April 29, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race - The Final 3, Hunty!

Hello, hello, hello! It’s the final 3, hunties!! I can hardly believe we’re already at the end of the season! Maybe it’s because it feels like there’s been such a light air since Coco was killed off. Granted, Roxxy has taken up the crown of diva-bitch since Coco departed. Previously the girls had to create 3 different looks using candy! Roxxy once again attacked Jinkx for things that she had no real grounding in. Jinkx finally had to lip sync, and she deserved to, against Detox, but it was Detox that sashayed away.

Back in the work room Roxxy is already bitching it up. The final 3 have all won 2 challenges. Alaska has never had to lip sync yet, which is impressive, but she’s also worked that shit to perfection! You can choke on it Roxxy, along with your skin-tight leotards.

It’s the next day and Roxxy comes in to find a note from Detox left on her stuff. Alaska has one too. Jinkx has nothing. That’s shady to write notes to someone and not to everyone. Oh no, did I just perpetuate the ridiculous Valentine’s at school thing? I take it back! But it is mean! Especially with such a small group left.

Ooo! Girl, you got she-mail! It’s our last moment of she-mail for the season! How sad! But don’t let that mascara streak too much, because the show has been renewed for a 6th season. Praise, Ru! Ru drops a lot of legal terms.

Instead of Ru coming in right after, we get Michelle! Ru is busy doing something else, so he sent Michelle instead. They’ll be staring in Ru’s video for The Beginning and they’ll be shooting a dramatic courtroom scene and will be playing all 3 parts in the scene. They will also have to prepare a little speech about why they should win this competition. They’ll get some face time with Gloria Allred as well as their typical lunch with Ru.

Candis Cayne comes in to do their photography and I do have say that for just a minute, I really did think that was a woman. And I guess, to be fair, I wasn’t totally wrong. She’s transgender, so she’s taken some physical steps to becoming more female. She’s a very TALL woman, that’s for sure! The girls work with a piece of chiffon and Alaska has no rhythm in her body, or timing as it would seem. She’s as bow-legged as they come. They then take some time with a huge fan and having that Hollywood moment. Once again Alaska can’t seem to figure it out.

We meet Mathu Anderssen again, as always, to direct the music videos. Is it a requirement that you have a ridiculously spelled name to be a gay man? He’s taken some pretty awesome pictures as a bearded lady. When he doesn’t have a Jesus beard, he’s pretty attractive. Anywhoo! This is another situation where Roxxy could take the cake.

Everyone is curious as to why Alaska wore a fro wig when they’d worked so hard on their hair-ography. They then have to do their chiffon-ography and Alaska keeps getting the chiffon over her face and can’t get it out. Poor thing. I love her so dearly. She also keeps dropping her piece of chiffon and sort of stops trying at a certain point.

This is Gloria and she’s going to whip my queens into shape for how to present a persuasive argument about why they should win the whole she-bang. Alaska is up first and she’s struggling to respond in a timely manner and gives very generic answers. That she has “the ‘it’factor and star quality”. She tells Alaska that she needs to have more self confidence.

Ru then has her tic-tac lunch with Jinkx and they talk about her going to Broadway. Ru digs a little deeper at Jinkx’s past dealing with her Mom being an alcoholic. It makes Jinkx realize that she plays an older mom type character to make up for the mom she never had. It’s an interesting concept. From what I’ve seen of Jinkx post-drag-race, she’s definitely gotten more glamorous and is becoming what Roxxy wants her to be.

Roxxy meets with Gloria next and she gives this very prim and proper response about why she should win. Gloria stops her and tells her she doesn’t want to hear the pageant bullshit! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! YES! She tells her to keep it real. They talk about obstacles that Roxxy has overcome. She apparently was going to give up drag because she was tired of the negativity. She overcame it by realizing her talent is a gift. They talk about how Jinkx needs to stop being a schtick show and she wants to see beauty from Alaska. Gloria admires what she has to say but wants her to say it without being catty. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Again, someone else pointed out that she’s a mean girl!

Alaska meets with Mother Ru and they talk about how, if she won, would she rule as the part of the Royal Couple of Drag. Alaska talks about how she has a fear of dying because she’s worked so hard for things in her life and she doesn’t want it to all just go away. She has a special moment where she talks about the great love between her and Sharon. They’re so damned amazing; I want to see them perform together!  Ru tells her to not be afraid and to embrace the moment she’s in.

Jinkx is with Gloria and she speaks a bit more eloquently. Gloria cuts her off and tells her that she’s not talking about what’s wrong with the other girls. Jinkx says she doesn’t enjoy having to talk negatively about her competitors. Gloria tells her that’s all well and good that you want to be positive, but this is not the environment for it.

Ru talks with Roxxy and Roxxy’s main reason she wants to win is to be the first thick girl to win. Ru tells her that she’s an amazing queen. That’s all we see of it. Hmm..not too much to say, huh Ru?

The girls are prepared for their courtroom scene. The girls have to play the witness, defense attorney and prosecutor. Each role should be a distinctly different character. Ru plays Judge Rudy. When Mathu asks Alaska about one of her characters, she gives a full background and everyone is enjoying it, except Roxxy. Roxxy’s witness is just called Roxxy Andrews, whereas the other girls create whole back stories for each. Roxxy’s characters are all called Roxxy Andrews. You’re not getting the point.

Once again, Alaska and Jinkx kill the challenge and Roxxy sucks at it. She also takes about 30 seconds too long to make a spit take. Mathu has to correct her several times.

The girls get back into the workroom and Roxxy is visibly pissed off. “I didn’t know a courtroom scene was supposed to be comedy!” She’s mad because she didn’t come off as funny. She thinks they should’ve taken the scene seriously? How do you take it seriously? “You’re not 80 years old, you’re Jinkx Monsoon, playing a character!” You’re such a bitch, I hate you. Jinkx is aware that she’s just lashing out because she didn’t do well.

The next day they have a debate about whether or not comedy always has a place in drag. “They’re making fun of drag!” No they’re not, they’re celebrating it in a way that you can’t! When Jinkx asks Roxxy what her favorite moment of the show has been she says, “Seeing you be in the bottom 2.” And then goes about drying her hair so she can’t hear what Jinkx has to say. Roxxy is on a royal tirade of being a bitch. She admits in interview that this is all about getting under Jinkx’s skin. Jinkx then asks Alaska the same question and she laughs and says “Seeing you in the bottom 2.” It’s funny!

Our final runway, hunties!!

Lady in red! No special judges this week, it’s just family.

Roxxy is up first.

 The dress is pretty and the “strap” that turns into a cape like thing is actually pretty interesting. I feel like it could be a hard dress to get into. I always wonder what it’s like to try and sit in a dress that’s 100% crystals.

Jinkx is in the middle.

I don’t actually like it very much. It feels like a weird material and I don’t particularly care for the head piece.

Alaska is last.

She’s got a bit of a booty issue, in my opinion. The dress is pretty though. It’s a pretty glamorous look for her.

They show the video of each of the queens in their respective roles as well as the video of the song. The first queen up to be judged is Roxxy. Michelle says that she came in purely as pageant and she’s leaving as a perfectly well-rounded queen. Santino thought she did a great job with the look, but her roles kind of blended together.

Santino thinks Tyler Perry better watch out for Jinkx, because she can play anyone and everyone. Remember what that used to be Eddie Murphy’s bit? Ah the days of The Nutty Professor. Michelle likes the head piece but doesn’t like the dress very much. It comes off as very prom-ish, but Sanitno loves her face.

Michelle loves Alaska’s dress and performances. She also thinks the afro was probably not a good choice. Santino compliments her on being able to stand alone and that she’s not in anyone’s shadow anymore. That makes Alaska start to get teary. I can’t even imagine how she must feel to hear that.

The closing arguments begin. Roxxy is up first. She says she has grace, beauty and professionalism and those are all things the other girls don’t have. She wants to be a role model to kids and she’s so proud to be thick and juicy.  She couldn’t ever let Ru down. Jinkx is up and she talks about her past and being an outcast. Drag was her way of living since she couldn’t live the life she wanted at home. She took the critiques and listened all while remaining true to who she was. Everything else is just water off a duck’s back.

Roxxy interrupts before they can move onto Alaska and has an apology moment. She says that she said some things earlier that were not true at all, and that she loves Jinkx. “I love you.” Jinkx says nothing. That’s a cop out, in my opinion. Granted, it could be the work of editor elves, but still, it’s bullshit.

Alaska then says in an interview she’s really confused because the challenge was to say why the other 2 shouldn’t be winners, which neither of the other 2 really did. Alaska gets in a theater sounding voice and says that Roxxy was once challenged to be a 16 year old but came off as a tawdry 27 year old tramp. Jinkx also gets read for failing at all 3 looks from last week. “I am the queen that takes the tragic and turns it into magic.”

She finishes with a flourish. The judges are impressed. The girls are sent to untuck while the judges deliberate. And they all repeat themselves. They come up with the fact that Roxxy won the video, Jinkx won the courtroom scene, and Alaska won the runway defense.

The girls come back and it’s the lip sync for their very life. Now is not the time to fuck it up! They’ll be singing Ru’s “The Beginning” just as they did in their music video. I don’t feel like Roxxy does much. She uses her dress a lot as a prop. But she feels sort of dead in the eyes, but that could be the huge amount of eyelashes that literally block our view. Alaska and Jinkx are both equally killing it. No one rips off wigs, no one takes off dresses. Take notes, future queens. That’s how you lip sync for your life! Ru announces that he hasn’t made his final decision. We’re going to, unfortunately, get a live reunion show where our queen will be crowned. We’re asked to vote by just about every social networking website. We’ll have a recap episode next week, which I hate watching, so I’m sorry if you’re a fan, but there won’t be coverage of it. But there will for SURE be coverage of the reunion show. I can’t wait to see how the girls respond to Selena. I’m sure Roxxy will get called out.

That’s it though, addicts! That’s the end of the regular season! I’ve already gone and cast my vote for Jinkx, but I would be just as happy to see Alaska take the crown. Anyone but mean Boxxy Roxxy Andrews. Am I right?

Hell's Kitchen - Episode 8

Welcome back to the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen! Previously we watched the chefs try and make Chinese food and the men finally pulled out their first challenge. They got to go paintballing and all shot at Dan. At dinner service there was a falling out between Susan and Jessica on the fish and meat station. Dan kicked ass on the meat station while Ray and Barrett killed the blue team’s win. The blue team decided to put up Dan despite his perfect service. Susan, Jessica, Dan and Ray were offered up for elimination. Jessica was told to hand over her coat, even though I think it should’ve been Susan. It doesn’t really matter though, Janel is going to take this one all the way to the end, so either one of them can go home and that’s perfectly fine.

The men are already aware that Dan is going to be a miserable bastard to deal with. No one likes you, so go home. Dan is running his mouth about how great he is right up to the time that they go to bed. Come on guy.

Chef takes them outside and tells them that they will have an opportunity to cook with some of the best and freshest ingredients. They walk outside to find a pen full of animals.  Butcher Mary is very excited, she says she wants to wrestle ‘em.

Meanwhile, Nedra is making this face. She’s terrified of animals. All animals. Not just birds or something. She says she’s scared of her own dog. Well then why do you have a dog? She’s sweating it. Each chef has to get in the pen and put an animal in the pen that has a starch on top of it. So whatever protein they pair with the starch is what they’ll be making later. They have 10 minutes to get this done.

The goats are the first to get put away. Nedra is very timid and afraid. She’s screamin and making a ruckus. The men are getting it done quickly and Nedra is taking a long time. If she can’t get a protein in there, they won’t have anything to gook. She’s takes a full 5 minutes, so half the time. The rest of the girls have to pick up the pace and get it done. “Mary had a little lamb!” Mary yells as she pushes the lamb into the cage. Everyone gets a protein, so the drama is all for naught.

They chefs get 45 minutes to make their dishes. Michael decides this is his opportunity to try cooking goat for the first time, and then goes around and checks in on everyone else. No one has asked for his opinion, but he felt the need to give it to them. What an annoying putz.

After time is called, there are 7 dishes that were made, but only 5 are being judged so they need to decided who’s getting dropped. The women eliminated Cyndi and Jackie’s dishes. Jon eliminates his own dish because he thinks it’s overdone. They drop Dan’s goat dish so Michael’s will be up instead.

Our special guest judge this week is a co-founder and owner of Animal, John Shook. He was a guest judge on Top Chef for the fried chicken challenge. The first up is battle of the turkey. Nedra vs Ray. The point goes to the red team. Next up is battle of the duck. Susan vs Anthony. Point to the red. 2 nothing. It won’t stay that way. It will get down to being 2-2. This is battle of the lamb and Mary’s raw lamb gives Wyclef the first point. Amanda and Barrett bring up their pig offerings, where he secures the tied 2nd point for the men. So now it all comes down the goats. Michael vs Janel. She does an awesome job and Michael is worried since he’s never cooked goat before, but these are usually moments where they pull out a win, like Anthony did with his stir-fry. He was rather cocky with everyone else though. I think he’s about to burn. And he does, because “this is like something I would feed my dog”. So the women win again! Of course Chef wants to taste Dan’s goat since they eliminated it initially. So they taste it and say that it was better than Michael’s.

The women’s reward is that that they’re going to be VIP’s at the aquarium in Long Beach. They’ll get to swim with the fishes (not in a mafia sort of way) and feed the dolphins. The men however get to put together a petting zoo since tomorrow night is family night in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s not so bad, they get to play with animals too a little bit.

The men however, also have to prepare food for the animals. I don’t know why, but it make me smile to see colorful food in bulk. I know, I’m a strange human being. But look at all those peppers! Fun! Yeah I’m a freak, go ahead and judge me. I also smell sticks of gum like they’re cigars. Always have, always will. They then have to wash the animals too. Dan even gives the petting zoo girl some of his attitude. Dan’s pretty much over everything. That’s good, Dan, cause we’re all over you.

As the teams prep for dinner, the women are in a positive place, but they usually are. The men are just aiming to get rid of Dan and he’s such a dick about it. Tonight is family night so Chef’s own children will be eating here, and they will be fed by the blue team. The kids get to pick from a pizza, burger and chicken fingers. They’re dishes are made and served with the adults apps. Dan is making the pizza and the bottom is burnt.  Michael tries to step in and help him out but his tone is overly condescending.

Over in the red kitchen, Jackie is late with her scallops and they’re rubber. He demands new ones since the scallops are apparently the easiest appetizer to make. They always seem to struggle with scallops. I know that if I was there I would order the risotto and a wellington, medium. Please, and thank you.
We’re told that we’re 30 minutes into dinner service, but the clock shows 4:30. So does that mean people are really eating at 4?

Chef tells the blue kitchen that the next ticket is HIS family’s ticket, so don’t fuck this up guys! Wyclef brings up perfect risotto, the scallops come up beautifully, and then Ray brings up a stone-cold burger. How do you serve a cold burger? I don’t even understand. Chef throws the food down, but doesn’t smash it. DAMNIT, CHEF! What do I have to do to get you to smash some food with your hand??  On the re-fire all seems to be well. I also just had a random thought. Does that mean his family lives here in LA? I assumed they lived in the UK. But maybe they travel around with Dad? That seems kind of insane.

Butcher Mary is up on the meat and she’s nailed each piece of meat perfectly. The women seem to have only had one mistake so far, that’s pretty impressive. Barrett is now screwing up the meat repeatedly. It keeps coming up raw. He takes a piece of lamb up to the pass despite knowing full well that it’s raw.

Dan watches eagerly. What a dick. Seriously, this guy is an ass hole. When you openly gloat in other people’s failures, there’s a special place in hell for you. Of course it’s rawr and Chef is mad that it got brought up to him. But to be fair, you scream when they tell you it needs more time!

The women are kicking ass over on the red side. But once again, Barrett is dragging on the meat station. He has a questionable piece of chicken. Meanwhile the women are communicating and timing things perfectly. They’re actually on their last ticket. They finish with a flourish and they are brought over into the blue kitchen to help them finish. Of course the men don’t want any help because that’s a slap in the face. I get that. Barrett sends up the pink chicken anyways that was supposed to go to sous chef James’s pregnant wife. Yeah that’s a bad oopsies! Dan takes this time to say, “You all I know I’m not enjoying this, right?” Shut your face, dude. Butcher Mary comes in and takes charge of the blue meat station and suddenly things are moving perfectly.  I’ll be very surprised if Barrett isn’t the chef going home.

Do I even need to tell you that the men lost? They have to go nominate 2 chefs for elimination. Michael must have a popcorn seed stuck in his teeth because he’s one pissy man. Ray tries to tell them that he’s not the weakest chef because of his burger. Barrett doesn’t blame anyone for nominating him, but he thinks Dan should go up too. Wyclef says that of course Dan should go up.

Up at the altar of sacrificial chefs, Barrett’s name is dropped first. So now it’s a question of Ray vs Dan. The men’s final decision is Dan. They think he’s not a team player, and they’re not wrong. Chef acknowledges that the blue team despises him. While Chef understands they don’t have to be best friends, they have to at least work together in harmony. The person leaving tonight is Dan. Wait…surely he’s just switching teams or something. No! He’s actually walking out the door! SHOCKING! They got rid of the character that caused the most drama! I was not anticipating that at all! I figured he would be an Elyise and we’d never hear the end of him.

Such a sweet guy.

The men have won 1 challenge and 1 service out of 6 for each! That’s insane! But I do always cheer on the women first. I gotta stick with my other hoo-ha-ed human beings. Barrett is taking his stumble very hard, he’s sobbing.
Next week we see that Barrett is spiraling out of control and goes all Britney Spears on them and shaves his head. Someone finds a piece of hair in a red-dish. Amanda starts packing her shit and is about to leave. Hell’s Kitchen is a crazy place, guys!

Project Runway - Finale Part 2

It’s the end, Addicts! We’ve finally come to the true finale moment of season 11, teams edition of Project Runway!!! Are you as excited as I am? It’s been a very long and arduous journey! We’ve seen many a designer get sent down the river to the land of no-one-remembers-who-you-are! We’re left with 3 of them to fight it out at the actual fashion week! We saw Daniel get removed from the equation and I don’t think anyone was sorry to see him go.

The designers are all excited to have a top 3 instead of some bullshit top 4 that they claim they’ve never done before, which they totally have. The designers still have their helpers of Amanda, Layana and Richard. They are going over the critiques that they received last time and are re-evaluating their collection. Tim comes in to tell them that they’ll have time to have a full hair and make-up consultation to make any changes they want. There is also another big surprise. This is right about the time that they announce there will be another design they need to make.

Instead Tim tells them they’re going to Mood! Look, even Stanley managed to muster a fist pump! They get an additional $500 to buy extra whatever they might need. Stanley is going through and is redoing 5 of his dresses. There’s one piece that Michelle isn’t in love with and so she’s doing a new piece. WL needs to change up at least 4 looks, she says, and needs to work on cohesion, because guess what, there is NONE! At all!

The trip to Mood is entirely uneventful. WL is having Layana make a new tank top while she makes a pair of leather pants, and she finds that there are 2 holes in the leather she has. That would piss me right off. Stanley used a lot of his money to have some Russian ladies hand-bead and lace his pieces. He looks over at Amanda and Michelle in their own little world, laughing and working seamlessly together and he’s jealous.

There’s a really long segment where the designers meet with the make-up guy and there’s really nothing exciting to tell you about it. He just does a lot of product placement. Layana knows that WL is in big trouble because she’s really far behind on what she has to get done.

There’s a random little vinyette of Dmitry from last season. He makes Heidi a dress.

It’s pretty! But I was always a Dmitry fan, so oh well! He’s doing very well since his winning season, on a very international level.

Back in the workroom, we have 2 days until the runway. Michelle is very confident and feels good about her collection, and she should. She seems to be the only one that’s actually almost done. WL is listing all the things she needs to get done and I have no idea how she’s going to do it. Michelle is struggling to pull back on adding accessories. She has a natural reaction to add more. They then get a pointless hair consultation for more product placement.

Tim Gunn comes in for a Tim Gunn moment. He sees the new piece Michelle has made and he’s crazy about it. He tries to warn her away from using the compass, because her woman is so cutting edge, she would have modern technology that a compass feels wrong. She then shows him a sweater she had made.

Oh my! It’s bold. Tim tries to warn her away from using the sweater because it feels like it’s from another collection. I may not totally enjoy the sweater, but I think it fits the collection. Michelle says that she will listen to what he has to say but the decisions remain with her.

He comes over to visit with Stanley and he doesn’t have finished looks enough to show Tim what the new feel to his collection will be. Tim actually tells him that based on 2 of the looks it feels as though he simply went to a vintage shop and bought the 2 gowns. Ouch! I can’t disagree with Tim. His looks are all very old! Stanley says that he knows a lot of designers are inspired by vintage clothes so he doesn’t take it as an insult. That’s not what he said, Stanley! Yes, designers are inspired by vintage clothes, they don’t design vintage clothes. They take the old and put a new twist on it. None of your stuff has a new twist on it! Tim says he has a lot of work to do, and he does. He still has to do all of the fittings!

WL has her time with Tim and she says it’s going to be cohesive, but not at the same time. Umm…no. That’s not what they asked you to do! Tim asks if there’s any way that one of the pieces could not look so stark white, and Layana reminds WL that she has a piece of ivory chiffon. It takes her a good minute on the show to find it, and that’s with editing. Tim is rather appalled at her lack of organization. Her shit is everywhere! It’s just in random bins.

How on earth could you ever find anything!? I’m an organization freak, so maybe that’s just my tendencies screaming out of my body to fix her station, but I’ll try and keep those things to myself… When they finally find the piece, is still is too white. Tim says “Cohesion, cohesion, cohesion!” This isn’t your chance to show a random smattering of what you’re capable of. This is a supposed to be a fall collection that potential buyers will want. Not arts and crafts fair at the reservation!

Michelle is literally the only one that has her shit together. The models are coming in and they are making their tucks, folds and pins here and there. Stanley is quite literally designing his pieces on the model while she’s standing there. Michelle actually offers to bring the 2 other designers coffee while they’re both sweating balls at the sewing machines. She tells Amanda that it’s annoying to her that the other designers are so under-prepared. She knows it bodes well for her, but they could also “pull a rabbit out of their hat at the last minute.” Her only real snafu is that a zipper is being particularly difficult to put in.

The sewing helpers leave and instead they send in the designer’s family members. Michelle has her husband , Stanley has his mom and partner Steve, WL has her 2 kids that come in. I have to wonder what happened to the husband…maybe it’s something awful and he died and I’m a terrible person.

Tim comes in for one last gather-round moment and he starts to get weepy as he usually does. But it’s in the best possible way! I remember there was a weird reunion episode, I think it was a reunion episode and all the designers had put together a big “Thank you Tim, we love you” montage of sorts. He just sobbed. I LOVE HIM! I want to carry him around in my pocket with me. He tells them Michael Kors will be their final guest judge and he completely understands where they are in this process, but he doesn’t know them like the other judges.

Michelle is still packed and has time to spare. She steps in and helps Stanley pack up his stuff and do a little bit of hand sewing. He has a moment where he actually just babbles. Legitimately babbles. I’m so confused! What happened to you, Stanley Hudson!? You were so together and beyond everyone else.

It’s the day of the runway! Yay! Stanley still has 4 dresses and a top to do. Yikes. We get backstage and all the people that are there to help dress the models is set to help Stanley sew his looks. WL isn’t too much better. For real, guys! I’ve never seen such a bunch of unprepared designers for fashion week before, on this show! EVER! He better hope he’s going last. We get to see assorted previous designers from the show come and be in attendance.

The judges all walk out and Heidi is sans eye-make up with just a huge pop of red lip. It’s bold. But I think I would’ve at least thrown on some mascara or fake lashes or something. When Heidi comes out, we still see Stanley sewing. Holy shit! Heidi has a little “I love you” moment with each of the judges. It’s sort of awkward and feels unneeded. Michelle is the first to present and come out.

I hope you’re ready for pictures, because there’s gonna be a ton!

I love it. I love the whole collection. It’s so great and grand and wonderful. It’s everything I expected from her. I may not agree with her personality, but damnit I want some of those clothes! Her hat falls off during her final walk, but she handles it gracefully.

Water Lily presents her pieces next and says some of it in her native language. She says the collection is inspired by trees. What?

I didn’t get the trees thing, but then again, I didn’t see cohesion. It’s not as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I’ll give her that. She didn’t go totally off the deep end, but it’s still a pretty terrible line. If she wins…over Michelle?!

Stanley is our last designer, since his pieces weren’t even done until just about 2 seconds ago. He’s very stiff and boring, but that’s not news.

It’s not very good. It’s still very old. There are a couple of high notes though, more so than WL, but it’s not winning. I’m sorry, but this competition is so very clearly Michelle’s win, that if anyone else win’s it will be ridiculous.

Every once in a while I’d see this glaring thing in the audience.

Oh, Mondo. I love you dearly, but really? This isn’t Japan! Get it together!

There’s the usual random assorted celebrities that say who’s they liked best. Of course they have to find people that say everyone’s name. You couldn’t leave anyone out. When someone has to describe your clothes as “they have a sense of humor” that’s generally not good.

The judges have a little private moment where they congratulate themselves on their “Teams!” idea and getting these 3 to the finale. Then the designers are brought out for their swan song. I want Michael to rip WL to shreds like he would’ve had he still been a judge.

Michelle is up first and she talks about her lone wolf inspiration. Heidi enjoys the story it creates. They all seem to enjoy the opening piece she had. Nina can see the cohesion in style, silhouette and color. Nina and Heidi both beg for a heart sweater (the one Tim didn’t like…). Kors gives her some trouble for the material that the final gown is made out of. It is a bit stiff. He tells the designers that they shouldn’t feel obliged to put in a big gown at the end. Heidi didn’t enjoy the Florence and the Machine like dress because it gave the girl big hips. Posen says when he “starts to decompose it”…I think you mean deconstruct. Fearful, if you actually meant decompose like a body. The judges all know who she is as a designer and they love her looks. It’s in the bag.

Water Lily is up next and she either made the fabrics or the embellishments on all the pieces. Kors likes a lot of her stuff. What? No! Michael! “Oh my god, the art teacher is on an acid trip!” YES! That’s more what I want from you. Heidi admits that she’s been a fan since the beginning. She gets on her soapbox and heaps all kinds of praise onto her. Posen told her that some of her pieces make the models look older. Nina is very warm and nice to her. She agrees that her creativity is remarkable. It feels like they’re all trying to make it seem like it’s not totally Michelle’s win.

Stanley is our last designer to get judged. His woman is “a woman who goes to work but enjoys going shopping for things that are not run-of-the-mill”. Kors doesn’t get a working woman from the clothes, at all. Agreed. “This is Betty White on Dancing with the Stars!” I’ve missed him. Posen loves the beading but he thinks the mix of materials was a bad choice. Heidi noticed that there was a lot of mad-dash sewing done at the end. Nina and Heidi both agree that the final gown before them is very matronly. He got stuck in the 1950’s and that’s where he’ll die.

There are pretty useless moments where they plead for their lives. WL actually pulls out the race card a bit saying that she wants to represent a culture that’s never been shown before. That feels like a last ditch effort. Like she’s in her full garb at the pow-wow begging for a win.

The judges pretty quickly eliminate Stanley from their running. They think he’s stubborn and doesn’t want to hear their message that he needs to make it younger. They agree that he was better in a team because of his leadership but when he was on his own he fell flat. They are building WL up pretty tall. Well they have to try, right? They can’t sit there and be like, “Hey, we all loved Michelle’s the best, hands down. Let’s just do this!” They think that some of Heidi’s critique’s of Michelle’s pieces. Nina sort of begs to not let them be swayed by WL’s artisanal style.

They bring the designers out. Start saying your prayers now because I’m a little worried this will be Gretchen-gate all over again! Stanley is immediately eliminated. That’s not a shocker. They WL first, and I’m terrified because Dmitry was called first last season and he won. But she’s out!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I’M SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY!!!!!

Michelle is the winner. Again, I think she’s a mean girl at heart, she had some very catty moments, but her clothes were by far the best. There was no question about that.

Next week there's a reunion episode and it looks to be catty, particularly for Daniel, who shaved off his villainous mustache. He looks so weird!