Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Project Runway - He Said, She Said

Hallo (like in German) addicts! Welcome back to the runway. Previously many designers were eliminated. Some made total sense. There was an unexpected an unannounced double elimination of Tu and Kate. We have 7 designers left. Last week was probably the WORST pieces I have ever seen walk the runway. There was only one mediocre one, and the rest were truly awful. The judges didn’t even award a winning look. The bonus was that the clients were the dancers of Thunder from Down Under. Delicious treats had by all! Nina lost her shit with giggles. It was hilarious. There was a pile up on Richard from his team. Amanda was sent home, but the poison between Layana and Richard is now running through their veins.

On with the show! We open with Richard complaining about being “thrown under the bus”. Can we all agree that this phrase should be banned from all reality tv show. Layana is being a bit bitchy about Richard. Yeah the guy has some dated looks and he likes to go above and beyond, but she’s pretty mean about it.

Heidi seems to have gotten a new stylist this season because her looks are far more appropriate than they used to be. They’re not eye scratchingly horrible. She prances out on the runway and tells them the next challenge should put a spring into their step. Stanley Hudson is immediately on guard. Why? It’s just going to be to make a spring inspired dress. It’s not like they’re going to make you make a dress out of springs. This is also the official Lord & Taylor challenge.

The designers meet with Tim at the storefront and Tim breaks the teams up into “pairs”. I say it like that because they’re really only splitting up one team of 4 and keeping the remaining team of 3 together. When Stanley is told his partner is Water Lily, he says, “I threw up in my gut a little bit.” No one likes her. Except the judges. I don’t get it. I hate her.  Daniel and Michelle are together. As much as I don’t really like her as a person, I do really enjoy her designs. Daniel tries so hard to be a sweetheart, but he’s got barbs, and I feel like I’m the only one that sees them. Am I alone? Layana and Richard are visually unhappy to be paired together.

We meet some lady from Lord  & Taylor. Being from Milwaukee, the closest Lord & Taylor is 66 miles away (I google maped it) so I haven’t actually been to one. But from my understanding, it’s a place for old ladies, and they’re on Project Runway as an attempt to bring in a younger crowd. The lady tells them that they’re designs need to be ready to wear with the inspiration should be the signature Lord & Taylor rose and that it will be included in a spring line. The prize is the winning designer’s look will be reproduced and sold at all the stores and online as well as being featured in a window. The retail price must be under $250. Again, being a poor girl from Milwaukee, that doesn’t seem affordable to me, but I’m not exactly the stores clientele. Not unless they’re like Boston Store and have massive yellow dot sales.

Michelle and Richard sit on the floor and try discussing ideas. Since Michelle comes from Portland, where it’s rainy on a regular basis, she wants to make a rain vest with a cute sassy dress underneath. I’m immediately thinking of a big yellow raincoat, so…scary. Richard wants to do something different so he’s making a jacket as always and instead of old lady pants, he’s making shorts. They’ll probably be old lady shorts though too.

Water Lily (Patricia) just creeps me out. Her eyes look into your soul and steal it. She has some textile idea as always. I’m bored with her. The only piece she’s made that I really liked, was her first one. Ever since, she’s gone off the reservation so to speak. Is that racist? I hope not. It feels like the judges want to keep her around to prove that they’re NOT racist.

Anyways, Water Lily is talking about this insane process she wants to do to create a textile. Stanley is trying to talk her out of it. He’s very blunt about stuff. She clearly couldn’t give a shit about what he says.

Samantha says she shops at Lord & Taylor all the time. So she wants to bring in an even younger crowd so she’s going short and sassy. Richard is literally ignoring Layana’s presence all together. I can’t blame him, I would too. It’s never easy to work with someone who just the other day was telling the judges how out of control and crazy your designs are. He doesn’t say anything to her, he only talks to Samantha. I feel bad for Samantha. This could bite her somehow in the butt.

Time for mood! Hello, Swatch! I was so sad he wasn’t at the store when I went and visited.  The designers get $75 for each look. Daniel picks out a ridiculous pink and Michelle is nervous. Richard also decides he wants pink on his dress as well. And of course, the dress is going to be “everything”. He’s trying a little too hard to make it a signature saying. No one has ever been as successful at that as “fierce” Christian from season 4.

Stanley is cracking the whip with Water Lily and giving her guidance she doesn’t think she needs. Stanley is king of patterns and they’re squabbling over which pattern is correct. “You need to listen when someone gives you direction.” That’s never fun to hear, but he’s not wrong. He doesn’t have the best tone when he talks to her though, so it comes off super aggressive.

More pissing between Layana and Richard, all in interview of course. They don’t speak to each other. Layana says that Richard has been this way, “ever since I won early in the competition and have been doing well ever since.” Really? I think you won maybe twice. He’s won himself. She’s eating her own shit.

Michelle and pink are not meant to be friends. I love pink. Love it. But his color of pink is pretty Pepto. She tells him that she likes the color because it’s so happy. She could not be less convincing. “I’m like a duck letting it roll of my back.” HEY! You’re not Jinkx! You don’t get to steal her signature mantra! Only one gay man at a time gets to use that phrase! And Jinkx will always win because she’s a fabulous drag queen and you have a 1920’s villain mustache.

Stanley is pissed because Water Lily is still trying to do her textile making process. It involves getting fabric wet and then ironing it. She says she’s just trying something out. Stanley points out that the design (if it’s going to win) has to be able to be reproduced in mass for the store, and that it needs to all come in, labor included, for under $250. Water Lily seems to think that she endless time. She pisses me off.

Tim Gunn comes in for his Tim Gunn visit. He meets with team hate first. They talk about Samantha’s dress first and they agree that it’s very youthful. Richard says she creates great junior-wear. Ouch? I don’t think any of these designers ever aim to design for junior. Samantha is aiming to put a heart cut out in the back and Tim encourages her because it would bring in a younger client.

Layana’s looks I next. Richard moans about the leather being too much. Layana stands by her look.

Richard’s look gets knocked down by Layana as being easy and that she doesn’t like pink. He has this whole story about the lady who would wear the dress he’s making. She thinks” he’s trying to overcompensate for his lack of creativity.” She’s mean. She’s a mean girl. She also has this mean little smile whenever she takes a dig at him. Unfortunately, she’s not wrong this time.  He already made this dress.
Water Lily’s top is actually looking pretty. Tim tells her that it’s looking expensive, which normally is a compliment, but with their restrictions it’s not. She says that even with the labor it would be under $250 for the pant. And Tim says it has to be for the whole look entirely.

Ooooh! Bullshit! I call bullshit. You knew it had to be $250 for the whole look. Why on earth would they allow for $250 pants and then tell you to spend as much as you want on the top. What about people who aren’t doing pants? She knew she was in trouble and she’s playing dumb. Hate. I hate her.

Stanley’s dressed looks super blah. It also looks matronly. Tim asks him what’s new about his design. Stanley hmms and haws and comes up with nothing. He says he straight up disagrees with Tim and he’s doing it his way. When has that EVER worked for people?

Michelle shows her vest. She’s clearly spent a lot of time on this piece. Tim loves the idea of the dress, but hates the vest. He describes it as apocalyptic. Ha. Oh Tim. He tells her to ditch the vest. She’s not happy about it. He says he likes the vest on its own, but it doesn’t work for the challenge. Michelle doesn’t like the idea, but she’s going to go with the dress.

Daniel spends 5 minutes telling Tim how much he loves the color of his fabric. Tim smells something in the air. So then Michelle confesses she doesn’t like it, but she believes in Daniel. Tim says he sees wearing Joan Collins wearing the jacket. Daniel says in interview, “Who doesn’t love Joan Collins?!” Michelle says that she doesn’t see a young girl with a wad of $500 in her pocket buying his dress. Keep in mind that she said young girl, this comes up later.

Tim advises the designers to use their partners to give them a help on their pieces.
After Tim leaves Daniel decides that since he’s done tops and jackets he’s going to make a dress. He tells us he has to take apart his jacket. Literally, in tears.

All because it was “so pretty”. For real? All of the sudden, the crazy wagon hits Daniel. He asks Michelle, “So everything needs to be sellable to a 21 year old?” And then he just keeps repeating the phrase 21 year old. Michelle says, “No, but it has to be for a younger person”.  Daniel is hell bent on the fact that Michelle said the actual words “21 year old” which we never hear her say. She said younger, yes, but no age was ever thrown out. He keeps harping on her, telling her that by hearing that she made him feel like he wasn’t doing anything right. He won’t let it go. Michelle is getting frustrated and mad. I would too. Daniel even says, “I don’t sell to 21 year olds. You do.” What the hell is going on!? Daniel then starts to push her away all the while telling her what she said. “I like to design clothes that make people happy.” He says he lost his desire to make clothes for happy people a few challenges ago and when he saw the pink fabric it came back. What? And that people like Michelle can’t bring him down because those tears are tears of happiness. What in the hell?! He’s officially cracked.

Models come in for a fitting. Stanley and Water Lily have kissed and made up because Patricia realized he was right and did what he wanted her to. Michelle is sad that her vest really isn’t going to get finished and used. Daniel is happy because he has a dress on his model so he won’t have to send down nothing. Samantha is getting a little worried she’s behind.

I’m over these 1 day challenges. I’m sure the designers are as well. I understand that this isn’t meant to be easy, but this is getting a little ridiculous. 1 day is really not enough time. If you want to see good pieces, give them an extra day!

Day of the runway. Daniel and Michelle have kissed and made up as well. At this point there isn’t any time to fight. Get it done. I don’t understand how Richard is still working on his piece. It looks like it could be made in about 4 hours. Everyone else’s pieces look much more intense. We get a pointless look at hair and make-up.

A very simple but elegant look for Heidi. Rachel Roy is sitting in for Zac Posen. The president of Lord & Taylor, Bonnie Brooks is our guest judge this week. I think Rachel Roy should step in a takeover for Zac Posen since he’s been missing several times this season already.

Water Lily first.

It’s pretty. As much as I don’t like to admit it. It’s pretty. You could wear it with cute shorts and flats as well. The fabric for the pants isn’t the best choice, but it’s ok.


BORING. Completely boring. And old. It doesn’t even look like it fits her well.


It’s a perfectly lovely dress. But I’ve seen this dress at TJ Maxx, I’m pretty sure. It’s nothing new or exciting. He claims it’s something he hasn’t seen before. Clearly he’s not a bargin shopper.


It’s definitely junior. And I realize this isn’t really fair to say, but the peach color in the middle is a little too close to flesh tone for that model. If this model was African American, it would pop beautifully. Am I being racist again? Damnit!


It’s pretty. It looks like an elegant maxi-dress. I like the fabric, but that could just be me. I don’t think I could pull off the leather, but then again, with big boobs, no one could work that dress appropriately.


Welcome to the ‘80’s! Even the hair is bad. Come on guy! It’s bad. I hope he doesn’t drag down Michelle.

Speaking of Michelle…

Perfect. I love it. I also love that her model is from America’s Next Top Model, but didn’t win. I love the color, I love the sheer on top. I love all of it. The only clear winner in my book.

Let’s see how much fighting will take place on the runway this week!

Patricia and Stanley get told congratulations. I’m shocked! They’re safe. Oh. Ok, that makes sense. Michelle and Daniel are called the winners. While Michelle hugs him she just says, “Don’t cry, don’t cry” over and over again. Ha.

Michelle is up first for a critique. Heidi loves it. Rachel loves it. Nina thinks it’s a great looking dress. Nina also gives her props on her styling. Bonnie mentions the accessories from her own store more than the dress, but she does like it.

Daniel says Michelle kicked him in the pants to make him go from a jacket to a dress. All the judges sort of handle him with kid gloves. They sort of find little things to give him positive things to hear, but really they don’t like it. Heidi doesn’t really hold back. She says that it’s look that a lot of women already have in their closet.

Samantha mentions she wants to bring in the younger crowd. Heidi isn’t pleased. She gets where the rose aspect comes in but that it looks wilted. The word junior gets thrown out. And Samantha tries to embrace it, but Heidi doesn’t like it. Rachel does though. She appreciates the attempt. Nina agrees that it’s a nice attempt but she doesn’t love it for the challenge. Bonnie agrees with Nina and Rachel.

Richard tells the story of the woman in the dress. Heidi loves it. But pretty much just because it’s a maxi and she’s such a fan. Nina isn’t happy. She thinks it’s generic. I agree. Bonnie thinks it’s beachy, but that it’s too dressy for the beach as well as for the day. Rachel tells him he broke a cardinal rule that no woman should match her handbag to her shoes. Write that down.

Layana gets praise for the leather from everyone. No one likes the print. Sad. They call it old. They realize the design but the print holds them back from giving her a higher score.

Time for the claws to come out! They have to pick who should go home. Samantha says Richard since it was too simple of a design. Richard answers back with Samantha. Layana says she’d be more interested to see a collection from Samantha rather than Richard. Not as bad as last week actually.

Michelle is called as “the clear winner of this challenge”. Oh good! Then it’s not just me! The dress was adorable and very appealing for a wide range of people. Heidi tells Daniel that he’s lucky because Michelle saved him from potentially being in the bottom.

Layana is called safe. It’s now down to Richard and Samantha. Richard is called out for repeating a silhouette. Samantha gets called out for being messy. Richard is called safe. Poor Samantha!

She was a great designer and I think she deserved to stay over him. I smell bullshit. I think they kept him around for drama. Samantha lacked any ounce of drama in her body. She doesn’t make for good TV, but she made nice clothes. It’s unfortunate that good designers get sent home in favor of keeping dramatic characters. At this point, all Richard is is a character.

We get a peek at Michelle and Layana coming to check out Michelle’s dress in the window. 4 months later. Hmm…spoiler? Did they just tell us 2 people in the finale?

Next week! They got to the Guggenheim museum for inspiration. It’s also the make-your-own-fabric challenge! I like this one.  Layana has a breakdown. Not surprising. She’s had one of these before. 2 people apparently have a make-it-work moment, according to Tim. And I’m sorry, but did Michelle make a print out of Obama’s face? WTF? I’m so confused…

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