So you may have noticed a significantly large gap in postings. I blame two people for this. Their names are Tyler and Vincent; my new twin nephews! They arrived earlier than planned and I had to rush off to Utah to see them and it threw a wrench in my routine. So if you wanna be mad at someone, tell them, not me.
There are a lot of episodes that I missed, and it would take me an eternity to catch up on all of them. I’ll try and cover as much as I can briefly. So the last time I posted Hannah had her experience with cocaine, she and Marnie called it quits on being friends, and Shosh and Jessa were hardly present. Since then, Shosh and Ray have been having a relationship, she cheated on him once but seems to refuse to believe it was cheating it (telling Ray that they held hands for a minute). She’s trying to handle Ray having no real incentive in life and being broke. Jessa got out of her “marriage” and moved in with Hannah. She and Hannah went and spent a weekend with her dad and then randomly disappeared, leaving Hannah there alone. Marnie has gone off the deep end after she and that creepy doll artist guy made it clear that they weren’t dating. She became a little Fatal Attraction Glenn Close about Charlie after he sold an app and made a ton of money. Hannah had a very strange episode with Patrick Wilson that has remained to be unrelated to the rest of the series. What we learned was Hannah realized she has been denying to herself that she truly wants to be happy. She also got an e-book deal that no one seems to give her credit for. She also has revealed she had some severe OCD tendencies in high school that were ruining her life and the pressure of writing this book has brought back those tendencies. So much so that she pushed a Q-tip so far into her ear that it punctured her ear drum and scrambled her brains (or so I believe). I think that’s the best I can do. I also apologize, because the episode I’m about to describe to you, is the season finale. I’m a failure as a recapper. My apologies. Again, blame the twins. Oh! And creepy Adam has turned out to be not so creepy but, just weird as hell. And he’s been dating a girl that made me squeal when I saw her on the screen, Shiri Applebee. I was, and am, a hardcore Roswell fan. It’s a part of me. Love it.
We start by hearing the ringing in Hannah’s ears. I just have to say, I love her headboard. It’s not really relevant to the point of the show, but well done set designers.
Hannah is trying to self diagnose herself online, which, if you’ve tried doing this yourself will clearly only tell you that you’re going to soon die of cancer. Don’t do it. It’s a really bad idea. She then goes on ask.com or some such website and starts asking all kinds of random questions, like “how does your body know not to stop breathing?” She then looks up what a normal tongue should be. She just sort of sits and rocks in her bed, then starts going through some of her OCD rituals. The girl is a wreck. And for some reason, I’m loving this version of her much more.
Hannah’s e-book guy calls her and is upset because she hasn’t delivered the pages she said she was going to.
Don't worry, sir, we've all had this face at one point while we were listening to Hannah talk too. Hannah tries to bullshit her way out of not actually having to be blamed for not having them done. He says it’s obvious she’s not committed. She says that it’s not true, she just has sustained an injury that’s making focuses on her pages difficult. He then tells her that as much as he doesn’t to, that if he doesn’t get the pages from her, he will sue her because he gave her an advance for the pages and she already spent the money. She hangs up and sing-songs to herself “I’m gonna write a whole book in a day!” I have to pity her. She’s been on a pretty vicious downward spiral and the time in her life that she thought was going to be the best, is proving to be the worst. Sometimes getting what you want, means you get bit in the ass for it. Hard. I also don’t blame the guy for wanting some product for his payment. Ah, the ways of the world. They really do show you that you can’t live in the scorned artist’s world, without the real world coming down on your face with a big muddy boot.
Ray and Shosh are, “having sex”. By that I mean, this is happening:
She then tells him, “You can finish if you want to. “ I’m sorry, but if my boyfriend said that to me in the weird tone she did, I’d be a little put off. Sure there’s gonna be nights that one person is more into than the other. But you don’t throw in “if you want to” like you’re doing them this big favor. At least get into it for their sake! Ray tells her he can’t finish if she doesn’t. A man after my own heart, perhaps! Shosh then uses one of my favorite lines, “Will you get outta me?” I’ve been known to use that phrase at entirely not appropriate moments. It usually gets a laugh, and if it doesn’t, I laugh for them. It’s funny. Try it. Shosh then lets it out that his lack of ambition is really bringing her down. Ray is annoyed.
Cut to Adam and Shiri (I can’t remember her name) are having sex. Much sex is being had in this episode, in fact, but everyone but Hannah. We don’t see Jessa, but based on her past, it can be assumed she’s having sex SOMEWHERE. He asks if she likes his cock and she says yes. So he then says, “You’re a dirty little whore and you like my cock, right?” She stops him and says, “No. I can like your cock and not being a whore. Do you understand?” She then directs him in how to move and please her. He’s trying to listen and become a better person. Just a note, it’s weird for me to see Shiri’s tits. I grew up with her being the wholesome Liz Parker. All I can say, is Max Evans would NOT approve!
Hannah calls her dad and tells him how her ear is bothering her and that she might need to go back to the hospital. She then tells him that she’s struggling with work and that she now could be potentially sued. She asks him to lend her the money so she can pay them back and give herself some time. Her dad yells at her and tells her she’s manipulating him and he doesn’t appreciate it and that he won’t pay the money. She reassures him that she’s taking her pills. I’m not sure I believe her.
Marnie and Charlie are eating at some trendy restaurant in Brooklyn.
See? See the hipsters sitting behind them. Marnie is spouting off about how she’s so happy that they’re “wandering” days are behind them. Which, I’m going to mean, anonymous sex and/or destructive behavior (on her half). She tells them that they’re old fogies now. Look at Charlie’s face. Is that the face of a man in love? That looks to me like a man who’s just learned he’s right back into a committed and intense relationship with someone who’s been the conductor of the crazy train for MOST of the season. He challenges her and she gets all uppity when he won’t admit that they’re dating. She can’t handle that they’re having casual sex, all while being very loud. “So you really don’t wanna date me? Last chance.” Seriously? Let the bitch go, Charlie. I would NEVER be with someone that pulled a stunt like that. She tells him it’s been the worst year of her life and that she wants him. “I wanna see you every morning. I wanna make you a snack every night. I wanna have your little brown babies, and I wanna watch you die.” So touching. Charlie tells her that’s all he ever wanted to hear, that he loves her and no matter what happens he keeps coming back to her. Maybe now the crazy streak is over. I can’t handle Marnie this way anymore. She’s been a pain in my ass.
Ray goes in to see his manager.Played by Colin Quinn. I didn’t know who he was, but my boyfriend (who hate-watches the show with me on occasion) said, “Where the hell has HE been?” I don’t know. But he and Ray discuss how he needs to come up with something new for Ray’s career or things could get back between him and Shosh. Ray says he seriously is considering going back to get his PhD in Latin Studies. Dafuq? I don’t think so dude. That is NOT the answer to show someone you’re committed to being ambitious and motivated at your life. Hermie (aka Colin Quinn) tells him that’s a terrible idea. He says that he’s opening a new Grumpy’s coffee shop in Brooklyn Heights. He thinks that Ray could handle being in charge of the store. He then tells him that he’s got some “internal stuff” and that he’s not going to be around forever. Ray accepts the deal and decides his new title should be, “district chief logistics and operations supervisor”. That’s a mouthful.
Marnie, now back with Charlie and hopefully on her way to being sane, goes to check in on Hannah. Hannah is sitting on a cushion eating cool whip out of the container with a spoon. She, like a hermit runs into her bedroom and hides. Marnie looks at her lap top and sees, “A friendship between college girls is grander and more dramatic than any romance…” I’d have to agree to a certain extent. It’s easier to say that when you’re still IN college and living that shitty and awesome part of your life together. Marnie decides to leave and Hanna keeps going on the crazy train. She finds a picture of Carrie Mulligan in a magazine and decides to make this decision.
I recently got a pixie cut myself and it was terrifying enough knowing a trained professional was doing the hair cut FOR me. I can’t even begin to imagine doing it myself. This had to be interesting to shoot. She keeps spreading out the hair and trying to prove to herself that, “it’s not that bad.” She then has the junkie neighbor from downstairs who she randomly had sex with cut the back of her hair since she can’t see it herself. She then grabs a dust pan to sweep up the cut hair.
Oh Hannah. The transformation to complete psycho is well on it’s way to being complete. She goes on to reminisce how when she was young and would drop a glass, her dad would tell her to get back so she doesn’t hurt herself and then cleans it up for her. “No one cares if I drop things. No one cares if I get cut by glass. No one steps in and says, ‘let me take care of that’”. Is this Hannah’s moment of growing up? Is this the cloud of clarity? Junkie neighbor says he knows what she means. Hannah tells him she’s dizzy and nauseous. She rolls over and just sort of lays there. Junkie goes to see if she’s ok, and grabs her shoulders. “Laird, please be reasonable, I don’t have the strength to fight you off this time.” That’s really not how I remember that situation going. He tells her she’s the most self involved, presumptuous person he’s ever met. And that he had feelings for her until he realized how “rotten” she is on the inside and that it’s a pretty dark scene inside her head. Hannah is stunned, and apologizes, says she didn’t think of Laird as a person and she realizes that was wrong.
Ray and Shosh are having a serious discussion, guys. Shosh says it’s not just about the job for her. She tells him in the least convincing tone that she’s so excited for him about the new position. She just doesn’t think it’s working for her right now. She tells him that she “loves him to the ends of the world and back, but sometimes in a way that I love a monkey who’s so sad and needs so much help because they’re stuck in this ugly cage”. OUCH! That’s a pretty severe burn. She tells him that he needs therapy. Ray says there must be someone else. And Shosh is outraged that he would think that. She tells him that he hates EVERYTHING. She lists off a whole bunch of things and says, “I can’t be the only thing you like! Maybe I can deal with your black soul later in life, but I can’t handle it right now.” Pretty deep for Shosh. She suggests maybe if can go and change and then they can talk about getting back together again later. He tells her that maybe SHE needs to change and then she’ll realize the difference between negativity and critical thinking. No one likes to be told that they’re the one who needs to change. But seriously guy, she’s not the one in her mid thirties with nothing in her life. I’d say, from a realistic point of view, you’re the one who needs to change. I do still like Ray though.
Hannah calls Jessa and goes OFF on her voicemail. She asks her where she went, what is she supposed to do. She lets out all the steam and frustration at her. And ends by screaming, “LOVE YOU!” to her. It’s a pretty awesome moment of dialogue. I have to give hats off to Lena on that one.
Adam is seen doing something with wood. I still don’t totally understand what his job entails that he works with so much wood. But something goes wrong and he just starts beating the shit out of his wood. (NOT in a masturbation sort of way, but that was a fun pun) His phone is ringing and he’s got big gloves on and is screaming at his phone to “OPEN” and “OPERATE” and in this moment I love Adam. It’s Hannah and she accidentally video dialed him so he can see her train wrecked hair.
He can clearly see she’s drowning in the deep end. She rambles like the mental patient she is. She then does some of her OCD shit and Adam asks “is that still goin on?” And she cries and tries to tell him that nothing happened. He is realizing she’s seriously scared and not ok. So he runs out the door, no shirt, still on the phone. He literally runs to her, all the while she’s telling him he doesn’t have to do this. It’s pretty adorable. The music helps me understand the tone I’m supposed to feel. Cut screen to Shosh at a club macking out with a guy I think we met in a previous episode, and then Marnie and Charlie giddily walking somewhere together all dressed up. Hannah hides under her covers and so Adam busts down the door and goes in and picks her up and they share a cute kiss. Fade to black.
That’s all she wrote friends. That’s the end of Girls, season 2. It was a crazy ride. There were moments of true amazingness, but also some awful, I can’t take it anymore bullshit. I think the second season came into it’s own. It had a very different feeling than season 1 did. It showed the chaos and uncertainty that can happen at this point in their lives. I still can’t say if I love or hate the show, or even if I like it. I can say I watch it. That’s about it, and that I’ll probably tune in for season 3. I guess that means to a certain extent, I like it. Right?