Thursday, April 25, 2013

Project Runway - Europe, Here We Come

This is coming to you unforgivably late. I don’t even really have a reason. The final episode is airing tonight, and I’m 2 episodes behind! GAH! All I can do is try and make up for lost time. Last time we watched, the designers had to create an editorial look for Nina at Marie Claire magazine. They were given very specifics for things to do and not do. The designers each were “on their own” but really they weren’t because they had sewing helpers. Richard totally screwed WL up again. Stanley won and Michelle is having a do or die moment as we speak. We don’t know what that is yet, so let’s dive in.

I just have to throw this in there; damn you Lifetime for making hour and a half episodes! It’s like they don’t even care how long that takes to recap! Bastards! Everyone is on pins and needles in the waiting room while they wait to hear what Michelle’s fate will be. Michelle is a wreck, but who wouldn’t be? Tim comes in to explain. No one is going home because they know Michelle is greatly talented and that she can produce. Her clothes were beautiful and well made, just not what Nina wanted. Layana is being her typical bitchy self and wants the title right now.

Heidi and Tim come out on the runway and tell them they think the designers need a change of scenery, to see the world. So they’re each getting sent to a different European country.

Do you see Stanley’s face? He can hardly contain his excitement! Heidi asks if everyone has been to Europe and WL loudly says yes they all have, but Daniel is already in tears and shakes his head and says he hasn’t. He’s going to be crying a lot. They’re each getting sent to a “fashion capitol of the world” to get inspiration and buy their textiles. Lifetime must really need the viewership because this has to be the most expensive thing they’ve ever done. And they’re leaving tonight. The trips get distributed as follows:

Layana – Barcelona, Spain
WL – Paris, France
Daniel – Berlin, Germany
Stanley – London, England

After all the tickets are handed out, Michelle doesn’t have one. Because they didn’t think she would be around, they didn’t bother to buy one for her, so she gets to stay in New York while her cohorts go over the Atlantic. They will be given sewing assistants (and traveling companions) again and this time they are “randomly” paired. I’m sure production had a hand in it. Samantha is with Layana, Wl is with Kate, Amanda is with Daniel, Richard is with Stanely, and Tu is with Michelle. Everyone seems happy with their companions. They each get $1000 USD. Hmm…somehow this doesn’t seem explained well. If it’s really just USD, that means that all those European travelers will be getting short changed, and Stanley will be getting even MORE short changed with the GBP. Good gracious, his budget is almost cut in half! Michelle may not be traveling, but she may well be the best off.

I’m not sure who got the best location. For money, Michelle certainly did. I’ve been to London and I LOVED it. I’ve been to Germany and the people were NOT nice. I’ve not heard such wonderful things about the people in France, so I guess I’d go to Spain for a new adventure! Daniel gets his inspiration from the Berlin Wall, and he’s crying once again.

Back in New York, Michelle is starting to bug me. She’s homesick and lonely. Those are completely acceptable feelings. But now she’s just becoming whiney. I don’t think she realizes that she has it better off. She won’t have a weird jet lag, she gets the full $1000. GET IT TOGETHER.

WL is taking her inspiration from the street art that’s on the streets of Paris. She wants to create a textile (shocker) with layers that represent the layers of art on the walls. Layana focuses on the ornate patterns in the architecture to showcase in her piece.

I have to get a screen grab of that building. We went and stopped there almost every day. I can’t get enough of it. FUN FACT that we learned from Fusk’s sister! The bridge that they’re walking on, if you are on the right side of the bridge, the London Eye and Aquarium are right there and it is PACKED with people. However, if you merely cross the bridge and stand on the left side, there are no people. It’s incredibly empty and you get a stunning view of the building. I can’t explain it. Anyways, enough of my bragging! He takes inspiration from the buildings, because duh, they’re amazing!! He wants to design for a dark woman who would be living up in the dark windows at the top of the buildings. I want to go to London right now. Someone book me a ticket!

So Michelle and Tu are on a bus tour and she gets inspired by, what she describes as coal/wood burning smoke stains. No. Those are old glue stains from previous billboards that had been up. Her idea is more romantic, but it’s wrong. Ugh, I vowed to not go on a big international trip this year and this episode isn’t helping. Fusk and I are meant to travel the world! Are you guys sick of me yet?

The designers are quickly realizing how much it’s going to suck to buy fabric in these other countries. I’m curious if they got to pick their store of the show made arrangements for them, previously. Not only is the fabric going to cost more than they want it to, but they’re selection will not be nearly as large as it would’ve been at Mood. Once again, Michelle has a huge advantage. Plus they don’t know where anything IS in the store. Again, advantage to Michelle. The store in Berlin has no leather or silk. The store in Paris puts WL into a tailspin and she completely overbuys by 270 Euros. They don’t’ speak any English there and the lady tries to take things out of her bag and she freaks out at her. She buys like, damned near the whole store. The store in Barcelona has no leather either and they also are responsible for cutting their own fabric.

Michelle finds a color that she calls “diarrhea brown” and that it’s gorgeous. You should never call a color that word and then call it beautiful. She spends $1000 on leather and cashmere. Sounds good to me! But I’d also be afraid to make any cuts for fear of screwing it up.

Back in New York, everyone has made their flights home. WL and Kate come in a full blown fit of giggles, followed by Daniel and Amanda.

Michelle is not pleased. They’re all trading stories about their locations. I can’t blame her for being upset. That would be so hard. But come on. Get. It. Together. I can’t take depressed Michelle. She’s too much for me.

Tim Gunn comes in for his visit and stops with Daniel first. Layana throws in her mean 2 cents that he’s using pleather as his material for his jacket. Stanley is making clothes that are modest, and Tim is a little worried that there’s not enough skin.

I tried to get a good shot to show you the textile WL created, and it’s difficult. Tim is very impressed. She took a ton of silk organza and layered it together under one white organza so it looks sort of like paint. By the way, she may rip of Richard for only using jersey, but she only uses leather and organza. I don’t think we saw her sew with anything but those two things. She has a second black piece that’s supposed to go over it and Tim doesn’t get it, so he talks her into forgoing the black part and making the textile the main focus.

Tim is very impressed with her designs and what she’s made. Tim encourages her to do the painted ombre effect on the bottom of the cashmere. She was a little concerned about going forth with it. Tim then visits with Layana and he’s concerned about her timing. She’s doing a very elaborate coat and blouse, and the blouse isn’t even really going to be shown. She’s so arrogant.

Runway day! Useless hair and make-up moments. Everyone is working really hard to get their pieces all together. Remember how Anya had to always sew her models into her looks and she WON!? All because Heidi was all lesbian love for her? I’m afraid we’ll have another such moment with WL.

Heidi is a little bit 80’s! It’s not the best, but it’s alright.

Our judges are Zac Posen, Nina and John Legend? Umm…ok. That makes no sense.


The coat is very pretty, but what the hell is going on with those sleeves?! WHY?! Why are they so long? If she was going for a pop of color, why not just like an inch? I don’t like them.


Stunning. I love it. She notices the ombre isn’t nearly as noticeable as it was in the workroom so now it just makes the fabric look dirty. I’d have to agree. But hopefully she can explain it to them.


It’s pretty. But it’s a little too basic for me. There’s a pretty sequined lining he spent a lot of money on, but you hardly see it.


I’m sorry, dafuq is that!? It’s like the stay-puffed marshmallow man’s mistress! The original idea was good, but it got lost and muddled. It’s craft-fair on the reservation in here!


He did good! Berlin did him good. He made those boots that turned out much better than they looked like they would originally. It’s well made and not old.

Let the judging commence! Daniel is up first. Nina can feel Berlin and loves the jacket and boots and everything. John Legend doesn’t really care for the jacket? What? Zac thinks he was brave and that it’s great. Heidi likes it as well and can see Berlin and that it’s modern.

Stanley explains his dark theory. Nina is in love with it. Heidi thinks he turned up the volume with the simplicity of the silhouette and styling. Posen somehow gets Sherlock Holmes from the cape. John thinks his model and Stanley make a good looking couple together. Heidi even comments that it’s nice to see Stanley smile, because it doesn’t happen often. Yeah, because he has no personality! JUST LIKE STANLEY HUDSON FROM THE OFFICE!!!!!

Layana is up next with her pink Kleenex sleeves. Posen calls them an eye sore. Nina says, “Those sleeves! Why! Why?” She says it’s old fashioned and tragic. Nina hates the styling as well. Heidi says there’s no sex appeal and that what she’s personally wearing is more correct than what she presented. When she takes off the jacket the judges are more impressed.  Layana doesn’t agree with anything they say, she loves her jacket.

WL gives her graffiti story. I’m calling it now, Heidi will want to marry the piece. Posen wrote “trash couture” and says he appreciates what she’s doing. I think he’s tired of it though. He thinks it’s messy and dumpy. Nina says Paris was so inspiring and she’s underwhelmed. She doesn’t get Paris at all and she doesn’t like it. John was worried because he’s not a fashion person that he was weird for not liking it, but he’s glad no one else likes it either. But wait, Heidi hasn’t spoken yet. “To me, this top is special. It has some unusual shape to it, and I like it.” STOP IT! Nina and her start spatting about it.

Michelle talks about the old buildings smashed in between the new ones. Nina thinks it’s a comeback dress and loves everything about it. John is a big fan of how it walked and the contrast between the shiny and cashmere. Heidi doesn’t like the paint, she said she wouldn’t buy it because she would be afraid people thought it was just plain dirty. I hate you, Heidi.

She asks the designers why they should go and who should go with them to fashion week. No one really cares why they think they should go. Or I guess I should say, I don’t. You’re all here for the same reason. You want the money and prizes as well as the exposure. That’s it. I’m more interested in who they want to take with them. Stanley says Daniel and Michelle, WL says Michelle and Stanley, Layana says Michelle and Stanley, Daniel says Michelle and Stanley, Michelle says Stanley and Layana. So this is how the voting count goes with their own votes for themselves excluded:

Michelle: 4
Stanley: 4
WL: 0
Daniel: 1
Layana: 1

So, what do we learn? Everyone loves Michelle and Stanley, and everyone hates WL. Back in the waiting room, Layana bursts into tears because the judges hated her jacket that she loved so much. I hate her too. She’s so annoying. Get over yourself.

The judges have their usual repetition of their notes, but when they get to WL it starts to get a little bit more explosive. Heidi starts it off by saying her same old mantra of “It’s something I’ve never seen before!” That doesn’t automatically make it good, though! Nina thinks she needs more time to grow, but Heidi defends her that she’s already older now, waiting any longer will push her past the point of being relevant. Heidi says she would wear the jacket and Nina says she wouldn’t, and she knows she wouldn’t. John calls the jacket interesting, but not beautiful. HA! “I understand the fascination with her, but the artsy fartsy thing is…come on, guys! Fashion is not art! Stores are not museums, you go to stores to buy clothes, not to look at them.” THANK YOU, NINA! 

Heidi admits she would be worried about a show from WL. “It could be arts and crafts HORROR!!’ Nina is my hero. If WL is picked it is purely because Heidi flashed her tits.

Stanley is the first to be called and told he’s going to fashion week. That’s an obvious choice. Daniel gets called next and told he’s going to fashion week. A less obvious choice. Michelle gets called next and is told she’s going to fashion week. Another very obvious choice. So now it’s between Layana and WL. I want it to be Layana because she is the lesser of the two evils. Heidi even prefaces her comments to WL by saying that SHE liked her designs but the other didn’t. She calls Layana’s name first and says that she’s out. WHAT!?!?! SUCH BULLSHIT!!! I’m over it. If she wins this show, so help me, it will be Gretchen-gate all over again! GAH! So angry.

Next week is going to be the home-visits and the last elimination for the actual show at fashion week. It’s really going to be between Michelle and Stanley and anyone who says differently has been smoking the peyote.

No comments:

Post a Comment