Monday, April 22, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race - Sugar Ball

Hello, hello, hello! We are down to 4 queens, and after this episode, we will be down to 3. And then the victor is crowned and our season is over. What a depressing thought! Instead, let’s focus on the competition we still have left! Previously we had our transformation challenge. The queens had to change military men into queens. Roxxy Andrews took home the win while Detox and Coco lip-synced leaving Coco out in the cold, FINALLY. Ding dong, that bitch is dead!

The girls come back into the work room and are in agreement that the reason she lasted this long on the show was to solve her issues with Alyssa Edwards. Roxxy has to be a mean girl and say that Rolaskatox (shudder) has made it all the way to the end, oh and a little Jinkx Monsoon to go with it.

Roxxy, you are on my last nerve. Leave Jinkx alone. I’m over it. Jinkx is aware that this is her moment to stand up. Roxxy is certain that if this is a sewing challenge, Jinkx will be gone. I want Roxxy to be gone, but I know she won’t be.

The girls come into the work room and Detox and Roxxy want Alaska and Jinkx to have to lip sync since they haven’t yet. Alaska says she wants to win Tyra Sanchez style and never have to. I feel like Alaska is doomed to lose. There will be too much conspiracy theory throwing around if Alaska and Sharon win back to back seasons.

Oooo girl, it’s she-mail time! Ru drops the name of all sorts of candy names. Ru comes in in a cute little plaid suit. Today’s mini challenge they’re having a bitch-fest with puppets. They have to reach into a huge hole and grab out a random puppet with a queen’s name attached. Detox pulls Alaska, Alaska pulls out Roxxy, Jinkx pulls Detox and Roxxy pulls the left over Jinkx. This is set up to be mean. The queens have to drag up their puppets.

Jinkx is up first and she is pretty tame about it. She makes jokes about the silicone and her constant, “I’ve had it!”

Detox nailed Alaska’s wig and voice. She makes the jokes about Sharon and everyone laughs.

Roxxy starts with a narcoleptic joke and it’s funny for a second. Then it just gets mean. No one is even laughing, not even Detox.

Alaska did an amazing job as well. Those lashes are perfect and she even has her pull off a cape to show a different outfit underneath, which is what Roxxy does all the time!

The winner of the challenge is Alaska! Yay! As long as it’s not Roxxy. And yet…it sort of was. Ha! This week’s main challenge is to create 3 runway looks for 3 different categories. The first is Super Duper Sweet 16, the next is Sugar Mama Executive Realness, and the last is Candy Couture!

The queens will be required to incorporate actual candy into their outfits. Where is Jiggly Caliente when you need her? Heh. As the winner, Alaska gets a 15 second head start on the candy. Roxxy thinks she’s got this in the bag because this is all about sewing. Jinkx says she knows what she’s doing. She’s going for Alexander McQueen does Christmas. The other queens are skeptical. This is very unconventional-challenge from Project Runway.

Ru comes in for his Tim Gunn visit and stops with Alaska first. Alaska is going for a fluffy cotton candy look and is hot gluing everything. She’s been critiqued for being rough around the edges, so buff that shit out!

Jinkx is going with a candy cane theme with her final look. Ru asks if the look is too much and where is the actual candy. There’s little to no candy on the garment so far. Jinkx then asks if it’s ok for her Sweet 16 to be from the 70’s. Oh no! Jinkx, come on! I love and adore you, but don’t go that direction. You’re playing right into their hands.

Detox is going with an acid green color. She doesn’t have much of a concept, just a color. Ru notices she’s a bit behind and wants Detox to come up and meet the standard they have for her. “Are you passionate about becoming America’s Next Drag Sueprstar?” Ouch! That hurts.

Roxxy is doing this very large pink piece that Ru gives her a deadpan response of silence with. Roxxy can tell Ru’s not really feeling it. Yeah, well I’m not feeling you, so piss off! I’m sorry you had to hear that…Before Ru leaves he tells the queens that the guest judges will be Marg Helgenberger who they politely squeal about as well as Bob Mackie. The queens lose it and are beyond excited! In addition to their outfits, they’ll need to perform a Sugar Baby opening number with Alaska being the choreographer.

Once Ru leaves, Roxy takes her look apart and stars over with a jelly spaghetti sort of material. The other girls are all annoyed with Jinx bashing up her candy canes with a hammer. Whatever, the girl’s gotta get it done!

The girls then go to practice their Sugar Baby number. I’ll admit that I had to look it up, I didn’t realize that it was a musical from 1979. So there! Alaska admits she’s by no means talented at dancing. She makes it a very simple routine and Detox and Roxxy sort of jump on her. I feel bad for her. Jinkx is going a little extreme. I will admit that. Then they try and do a line thing where they are swaying their lollipops and Jinkx sort of screws up the rhythm in order to not hit Roxxy. Alaska tries to defend her but of course the loudest win. When it’s Roxxy’s turn to lip sync her part she doesn’t even try, she purses her lips.

Back in the workroom and everyone is hot gluing and sewing like crazy. Roxxy is using a hot glue gun just like the rest of them. So bitch, shut your face about your sewing skills. Jinkx’s narcolepsy starts to kick in and she gets sleepy, she then just sort of starts throwing shit together and gluing it. She’s panicked. Roxxy is openly happy that Jinkx is having a bit of a meltdown. B.I.T.C.H. HATE HER! Alaska helps her edit. 

Detox’s look isn’t very candy inspired. Alaska tries to put her cotton candy dress on and it breaks. The candy is falling off in chunks. She better hot glue that shit quick!

Welcome to the runway, Hunty! Ru is a vision in pink leopard print. I’m trying to think if she wears anything but a blonde wig…I can’t come up with anything. If someone else does, let me know!

The girls come out and do the Sugar Baby dance and it’s cute and very executable. It’s not overly complicated and they could get knocked for that, but there was also no excuse for them to not do it well.

Super Duper Sweet 16


It’s perfect for the modern day 16 year old.


Boo. I don’t like it. I told you not to, Jinkx!


It’s cute, annoyingly.


It’s very 80’s, which I think is what she was going for, but it’s not very party dress, which I guess it doesn’t have to be, but it would maek more sense.

Next category is Sugar Mama Executive Realness.


It’s quite perfect actually. I like the short pixie look. It could be because that’s what I have, but it’s cute on her, and it doesn’t come off as boyish.


Kind of boring. I have a bad feeling about this week for her.


Sorry about the screen grab, but there wasn’t a very good one for these ones. It’s boring anyways.


Still 80’s, but it’s not bad. It’s super blue!

The final topic is Candy Couture!


Candy candy coma! It’s fun and flirty.


I’m putting her in the bottom, myself. I said it. It’s not very good.


It’s a good use of candy. I just wish she didn’t feel like she has to show so much skin every week. We all know what you look like, gurr.


Ooo, not good. It’s an 80’s look all the way, but it’s not a good couture look to end on.

Alaska is up first and she gets praise for all her looks, from everyone. Jinkx is up and gets read for her Sweet 16 look being too old and for there not being enough candy on her couture look. Roxxy gets called out for being a overly sexual 16 year old, but gets credit for her executive and couture look. Detox gets positive feedback for her executive look but that’s about it. Santino questions her taste level. Ru asks who doesn’t deserve to be in the top 3 and why. Jinkx says that Detox has fallen short the most. Alaska says Jinkx because there needs to be maturing. Roxxy doesn’t even wait and says Jinkx because she didn’t do well when she stepped out of her comfort zone. Detox joins the band wagon and piles on by saying Jinkx because this isn’t a school for girls. They all are scared. That’s all.

After the judges repeat themselves, Ru brings back the girls. Alaska is the winner of this challenge! Yay! Good for her! I’m so glad a nice girl won! Roxxy is called safe, she’s part of the finale 3. So it’s between Detox and Jinkx. Well, we’ll finally get to see if she’s as great of a performer as we all know she is. She’s already chanting, “Water off a duck’s back”. The song is Malambo No. 1 by Yma Sumac. It’s not really much of a song, but it’s perfect for Jinkx. They both do an admirable job, but I think this is perfect for Jinkx to be all schtick. They both were great. Jinkx is told to shantay. Yes!

She gives Detox a “I’m not worthy!” pose; a true class act. Detox reciprocates. Roxxy is mad. Detox is told to sashay away. Alaska and Roxxy go over and give her a big hug as she leaves. So our final three is Alaska, Roxxy and Jinkx. So the real question, is will a comedy queen or a pageant queen win to settle the score once and for all, which is a better fit for America’s Next Drag Superstar! COMEDY! That’s my vote.
Untucked! It’s crazy to look back and see all of the girls that used to be on the show. Now that Coco is gone, I’m sure Roxxy will foot the bill of being the mean girl.

Alaska and Jinkx go into the Silver Lounge by themselves while Roxxy and Detox go directly to the Gold
Bar. The mean girls in the gold bar are they throw some more shade towards Jinkx for her not being on the same level that they were when they got there. Alaska explains why she said Jinkx’s name up there and she says point blank because they all know Jinkx is they’re biggest competition. I don’t understand these girls. So are they saying they’ve learned NOTHING from being a part of this competition?  Hypocrites! All of ‘em! I hope Roxxy gets all kinds of shit thrown at her when she goes home and sees what a bitch she is on TV. For such a pretty girl, Roxxy is ugly. Alaska says she wants Jinkx to go home because she’s beaten her in a lot o challenges. Jinkx is aware that she’ll be lip syncing, and she’s prepared to rock that shit. Detox and Roxxy are pretty annoying together. It might be the editing job, but they look like they’re just trying to get #moments. By the way, that’s not me doing a hashtag bullshit thing. I don’t do twitter.

Alaska and Jinkx talk about how Roxxy’s puppeting moments were mean spirited. Roxxy tries to give her shit for actually singing out loud instead of lip syncing. Isn’t that more impressive??

Alaska, I’ll miss your faces so much! The four of them come in and Alaska says, “Oh good, the rest of the we-hate-Jinkx-club is here!” Heh, that’s awesome. Roxxy says that the other 3 have given more than her. What??To use a Detox quote, “I’ve had it!” Roxxy tries to tell Jinkx that the reason she hasn’t been in the bottom is because it was by luck. All because it was all comedy and singing challenges. I can’t with her. I just can’t. I can’t even bring myself to recap the conversation.

Detox decides to add on that she’ll be pissed if she has to lip sync against Jinkx and go home because she feels as though she’s had to help school her in how to be a successful drag queen. Everyone is being nasty and it’s just making me mad.

We go and see what Peek-a-Ru sees and there’s a bag instead of a box. They pull out puppets of the judges.

Heh. They have a few moments of laughing of joking before it gets weird. They take a minute to say how they feel about each other. Roxxy’s “nice moment” with Jinkx is totally fake and not even that nice. She says, “I’ve learned so much from you. I learned no matter what people think about you, you should always stay yourself.” Lame. Jinkx is wonderful and nice to everyone. Detox starts out with, “I hate all of you.” Ha, she goes with a more comedic route than sincere. Alaska gets teary and it’s sweet just like her cotton candy outfit. I can’t believe I thought that she was just going to be another Sharon Needles. She’s amazing all on her own. Can you imagine a show with the two of them!? Oh man!

That’s all we have! Roxxy officially is on my hate list. I hope her inbox is full of hate-mail. I know Jinkx has gotten a huge surge of fans and love and support and she deserves it! Next week will be finale!

1 comment:

  1. What an awesome review & I couldn't agree more.
    I'm only just finishing season 5 of RPDR & have come to loathe the ugliness that is Roxxy. It's not funny, never intelligent & far from true beauty.
    Her bullying of Jinkx should've been addressed before now. A shame nobody else stood up for a sister.