Wednesday, April 10, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race - Super Troopers

Hello, hello, hello, Addicts! Our queens are back this week after they’re telenovela style soap opera acting. We learned that Detox’s ex boyfriend killed himself and that she found the body and hasn’t really dealt with it yet. Gurr, no! Go get some therapy! The dreaded Rolaskatox was reformed to once again be pointless and dumb. Jinkx was once again in her element stealing a win. Alyssa Edwards had a bit of a fit on the runway and it was the epic LSFYL we’ve all been waiting for between Alyssa and Coco. It was a tight one, but Alyssa was sent sashaying away.

After the runway the girls ask Coco how she feels with Alyssa gone, and Coco says she feels a big weight off of her. Jinkx is worried that her target will just be shifted to another queen and she’s a prime candidate. Despite Roxxy being a bitch, most of the time towards her, Jinkx give her credit for being in the top 3 as well. Roxxy is annoyed that Jinkx is the only queen to win two challenges. How are we this far into the season and no one had previously won twice before?

Ooo, girl! You got she-mail! Ru gives clues about building techniques and painting. This week’s challenge, the girls are going to Drag Booty Camp. They’ll be in shorts, tanks, heels and boobs.

They’re trainer Storm comes in. He’s rather pretty and Detox’s silicone jaw drops to the floor. The last queen standing is the champ. They start with jumping jacks. Everyone is repeating the cadence and they all sound sort of manly, except for whispy girly Jinkx. Love it.  Detox is eliminated first during the sit-ups, then Roxxy and Coco. Jinkx gives it up and Alaska is pumped and wants to keep going. Ru introduces the next round of boys.

These men served in the military before the repeal of Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell. It’s the make-over challenge! Coco is immediately nervous because she’s never done anyone else’s make-up. As the winner, Alaska gets to pair the queens with the military men. Alaska merely goes down the line and pairs them in the order they walked in with who they’re standing across from. Roxxy thinks she gets the shitty one and she’s pissed off. Alaska is left with the tall pretty one. There has to be a family resemblance when they walk the stage.

Dave is paired with Jinkx and she asks what diva’s he’s a fan of, so Dave suggest Judy Garland. Perfect! This could be a wonderful pair! Jinkx is already thinking Judy and Liza. Dave says he knew Judy in real life. Jinkx is genuinely excited to have Dave as her partner.

Detox is doing more oogling than working with Aaron. Aaron struts his stuff in some super tall heels. I’m not buying it that he’s never done this before. Detox seems to be more interested in getting some action than winning. Izzy is proving difficult for Roxxy. He’s a bit of a bear and he can’t walk very well in the heels. Steve and Coco are also struggling a bit.

Mac tries to walk in the heels and gives the manliest military walk ever. Just because he’s pretty and gay doesn’t mean he’s flamboyant. This might be harder than Alaska thought.
Ru comes in for his Tim Gunn visit and we stop with Jinkx/Dave first. Dave says, and I quote, “I think I killed Judy Garland.”

Our thoughts exactly Ru. What? Apparently Dave met her and was having dinner with her and she asked a question about the new sleeping pill that was on the market, which is one of the things that killed her. Yikes. Under no circumstances do I think Dave played a role in Judy’s death, she would’ve found out about the pills from someone else.

Ru is sort of horrified by Mac’s walk and tells Alaska to keep on it. Over with Detox/Aaron we find that Aaron served both before and after the Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell rule and it’s all very touching. Steve tells Ru that says he joined the military as a way to “get straight”. Poor guy! Ru tells Steve that Coco needs his help since he’s been in the bottom the last 2 weeks in a row. Izzy tells Ru that he’s never done drag, worn heels nor does he have peanut butter. Roxxy is nervous, but wants to make Izzy comfortable.

In addition to walking the runway, the girls must make a color guard routine with their military boys. Color guard? Really? Stupid. No one really knows what they’re doing so they’re just sort of inventing it as they go.
Back in the workroom Dave is trying on a variety of shoes with Jinkx and he says he has a medical condition. He admits that he has AIDS and because of the medicine, that’s why his body is the way it is. He doesn’t know what he can do about the heels. Jinkx is very loving and reassuring that they are a team and she will do whatever she can to make it work for him so he’s comfortable.

When Dave walks away Jinkx has a sweet little moment of a few tears. She’s so gentle! I love her! I also love that she doesn’t go around and talk about it later.

On the day of the elimination Izzy gets shaved down from head to toe. That would take a long time, I would think. To his credit, Izzy made no complaints at all. Coco is over in the corner laughing with Steve at Izzy. “All make-up and no talent” is what Coco throws out there. Yet they throw back at her that she doesn’t know how to put make-up on Steve and she’ll paint her like a black queen.

Detox tells Aaron about her car accident that she survived. Some drunk parked his car on the freeway and they hit the car at full speed. She lost a lot of blood and very nearly died. Her face got chewed up by the windshield. This is why she can’t grow an eyebrow on her left side. Gurr!!! You poor thing! GO SEE A THERAPIST! You need it! It’s ok, mama! We’re here for you!

Honestly, it’s a little safe, Ru! Our guest judges are Clinton Kelly from What Not to Wear, and George Kotsiopoulos from Fashion Police. Girls better have some rockin’ outfits or they’ll get read!

We start with the color guard and it’s pretty lame on all accounts. Detox drops her flag a few times. It seems like a total waste to me, other than it distracts the queens from making a higher quality dress for their men.

Jinkx and Fortuna Monsoon

It’s very Judy and Liza. It’s what they were aiming for, and it hit.

Roxxy and Isabella Andrews.

I have to give credit where it’s due; Roxxy turned it out this week. She stayed true to her style and they could very easily be a mom/daughter and the padding is outstanding on Isabella.

Alaska and Nebraska


Detox and Beth Adone

Busted lookin’ face gurr. I’m not loving the outfits that much either.

Coco and Horchata Montrese

Did I say busted before? Because she is beyond busted, she’s broken. Dresses are glamorous but that’s it.

Jinkx and Dave are up first and the judges appreciated that Jinkx made the routine do-able for Dave. They get props for the outfits and looks. Roxxy and Izzy got positive remarks for their routine and their family resemblance. Alaska and Mac get read for his padding, saying they look like they’re hiding hams. Truth. Detox and Aaron get shade for their outfits and for their routine. Detox even admits that it was a shit show. Coco and Steve are up next and Santino calls out the busted make-up. Coco shakes her head in annoyance. Coco admits that it feels like she just keeps letting Ru down week after week.

Ru takes a minute to tell how grateful he is for the country we live in and for these men who have or are currently serving to protect their right to do drag.

In case you needed a better look at the men turned women, here they are with a before and after.

After deliberations Jinkx is called first, and she is safe. Roxxy is called next and condragulations to her, she won! She earned it. It’s a fair win. So now Roxxy also has her second win. Coco is up next and she’s up for elimination. PLEASE let her go! This is her 4th time up! That leaves Alaska and Detox, who will it be? Detox it is. Alaska is safe. The song they will be singing is (It Takes) Two to Make it Right and all I can hope is that Detox doesn’t get too carried away with her jarring jaw movement. She throws it in here and there, but it’s not overly done. Of course, Michelle is sitting there singing the whole thing since she’s one of the singers in the actual song.

Detox is told to shantay while Coco shasays away. Ding dong, the witch is dead! No one will miss her or the contention she brought with her everywhere she went.

Time to get Untucked!

Jinkx starts it out by giving Roxxy praise for the win saying that she really did earn the win. Good on you, Jinkx. Take note, bitches, this is how a classy queen acts. They agree that the bottom 3 would be Alaska, Detox and Coco. Coco is pissed that they called her lady-boy busted. She then calls out Dave in her interview as being way more busted than hers. The girls all try to boost Coco up by saying she did a great job. Coco says, “I don’t care about critiques, they don’t bother me.”

“Really?” I agree, Alaska. You’re all hot and bothered about a critique. If you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t have said anything to begin with.  Coco says that because it’s now someone else included in her work, that’s what makes her angry.

Dave pipes in after Coco talks about how torn down she is by the judges and says there’s a saying in the military, “we’ve got your back”. That’s not a military saying, Sweetness, that’s a human saying. He thinks the other queens have her back. Roxxy chimes in that she does but no one really piles on to that thought.
The queens go over into the Gold Bar to check out their big pink furry box, leaving the military boys in the Silver Lounge. The clue says, “If you’re going to win the drag war you’ll need a strong dose of your own medicine. (Non toxic of course)” Oh come on, that wasn’t even remotely hidden. Detox even says, “Is it my brother?”

It is, and it’s even her Dad as well! Apparently that her twin brother, so keep that in mind! They have some sweet joking moment, but Daddy Detox gets chocked up and it turns out he might have cancer. The brother doesn’t say much other than to stay strong. Then someone else wants to say hi!

Mama Detox! She’s talks about the accident and how strong she was to survive that. She also apologizes for moving away without her when she got divorced from Daddy. It was miserable for Detox and her brother with their father in the past and Mama moved away and didn’t take Detox with her. She takes great shame it and asks for forgiveness. She was more worried about what the neighbors would think than how Detox would feel. She did come back and get her later though.
Back in the Silver Lounge the military men are talking about how nervous they were when they first walked in. They discuss the techniques of tucking. Aaron’s penis actually wrapped back up into his butt crack, whoa. A show-er, not a grower! Aaron also took to those shoes like a regular old queen. Coco even tells Detox to double check her drag after Aaron leaves to make sure he didn’t take anything. They girls were all fans of the boobs they had to wear in the mini challenge. There’s a little bit of tension between Dave and Steve when Dave says Jinkx will surprise everyone and win.

Steve takes on the role of Coco and fights back. Staged? I can’t really tell.
The military men all thank the girls for the experience and it’s very heart-felt and gooey and wonderful. It feels like Aaron and Detox are gonna make out.

They can’t stop gushing over each other.
Dave starts to get teary and says that because of the experiences he had being kicked out of the military for being gay, that he was shoved aside by the whole gay community. He’d kept to himself for the large portion of his life. He said he’s going to push himself to come back and be with his people. Poor Dave! He’s so sweet! He was so perfectly paired with Jinkx.
The end for this week! We’re almost to the finale! Final 4, here we are! I’m going to say the top 3 will include Jinkx and Alaska for sure. I’m just not sure if Detox of Roxxy will prevail. I also am unsure if they’ll let Alaska win because Sharon won last season. It could come off as fixed. I hope they don’t have a live-audience reunion like they did last year, that was dumb. We didn’t get nearly the bitchy attitudes we should’ve. Til next week!

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