Friday, April 12, 2013

Hell's Kitchen - Episode 6

Welcome back for the continuation of Hell's Kitchen, Addicts! Do you think we'll see any food get sprayed about by Chef's hand like it's butter? I have my doubts.Maybe they've put him on probation. As I'm writing this post there is a baby sleeping to my left and and baby sleeping to my right. I'm doing full Aunt duty this week! We'll see how this goes, writing in between bits of naps.

Previously the men once again proved that they sucked ass by being dominated by the women in a taste it, name it challenge. We had a faux-dinner service in the form of breakfast and the women some how lost, despite the fact that Jeremy tried to serve sample plates that had been made hours before hand. The men only won because the they finished making pancakes faster than the men. The women offered up Mary and Jacqueline and were rejected by the God's of the kitchen. Someone else is in over their head, and we were left with the all-too-common "to be continued" screen.

I'd just like to point out that there is a full 3 minutes of "previously on Hell's Kitchen" and the theme song. That seems excessively long to me. We are still in front of chef and we're about to find out who's leaving. We all know it's Jeremy, right? I told you that last week. And I'm right. Jeremy gets shamed for trying to serve the sample plates and is asked to leave.

We won't miss you. The men agree that they won by having someone eliminated. Mary is glad that Chef is aware that she's better than Jeremy. The red team in general is not happy with each other. They sit down for a team meeting and Nedra and Amanda hug it out because Amanda is afraid that Nedra will harbor ill-will towards her. Yeah, I can't imagine it would be enjoyable to sit around and work with someone who thinks you suck.

The women go down to start prepping for dinner service. It turns out that Butcher Mary's time of the month is late, and she's got morning sickness feelings. So production gets her a test and she runs upstairs to pee on the stick.

Is that a good face, or a bad one? I've never had kids so I don't really know which face this represents. She comes down stairs and gives a resounding, "Definitely not!" I still can't tell if that's something she's happy about or not.

Over in the men's kitchen, Dan is asking 100 questions about what needs to be done, in what order and in what way. I always wonder why they never show them doing the dessert portion of the meal. Does no one ever screw up during dessert? Granted, it can take many episodes into the season to finish a service.

Wyclef tries to stir the pot with Mary by telling her that the girls offered her name up really fast and they will every time. Nedra goes in to stand up for all red-team kind. She calls herself Mike Tyson because she's not afraid of a fight. Nedra says they shouldn't pick on someone who's weak, meaning Mary. That's pretty harsh!

We get no mini challenge because the breakfast service technically counted as a dinner service. Chef tells them that it's not just the diners and himself that they cause anger and frustration to, it's Jean Phillip and his wait staff. One of the waitresses says that she almost lost her job last night because one of the patrons went and complained to Jean about her, and it turns out it wasn't her at all, it was because of the food and the kitchen. I could never be a waiter. Dan gives a sing song rendition of, "I don't like waiters, they're annoying!" Yeah, well guess what, they probably hate you too, Dan. Jessica and Barrett get nominated by Chef to work as a waiters tonight.

Barrett is upset because, as he shows us it takes him 30 minutes to do his ridiculous hair. That man in 35. Keep that in mind. When he goes to meet Jean, Jean can hardly look at him without being disgusted. Barrett says he used to be a waiter for 6 years, so of course he'll rock this, which means, of course, that he won't.With the first ticket that he brings up, he does it too slow and in horrible penmanship. Jessica also gets reprimanded for her writing abilities. That feels like Chef just wants to yell.

Susan gets asked to lead the kitchen with apps for the women. Amanda is telling her to slow down on the cooking so her scallops can be ready. Amanda tries to tell her not to walk, but Susan does anyways, after a minute or so the scallops arrive and they're fine. So that whole thing was pointless, wasn't it?

Ray and Dan are both working fish, with Ray in command, and Dan keeps trying to shove his way onto the station. Ray can't remember what was asked to be cooked and then brings up overcooked scallops. The second attempt goes over much better.

The men move onto entrees. Dan is trying to cook so he can get some credit for the night and Ray keeps pushing him (literally and figuratively away). This is just a pissing contest, with food in the mix. That probably tastes bad. Ray takes up 3 sea bass, after all this time, and it's not the right fish, he was meant to make halibut.

The women are still trying to finish up their last apps before they can move on to entrees. Amanda returns the favor of walking up before checking with Susan to see if she's ready. She's not, and she gets in trouble. You kind of deserve that one, Susan. Chef brings in Jessica from serving to tell her team to hurry up. During which she laughs. I can understand what happened. It's so ridiculous that she got brought is as a random cheerleader, so a nervous laugh came out. Chef massacres her for it.

Chef does the same thing to Barrett, having him come in to rush his team, but he doesn't laugh. After all the waiting, the meat is cooked perfectly by Anthony, as it has been all night, and the fish is just shit, every time.

Swap pork for fish and the same thing is happening over in the ladies kitchen. Butcher Mary can't cook pork, apparently. Nedra is also is at fault. She told Chef there was another one coming up, as in it was ready, but really, what she meant is I just put one in the pan and it will take 6 minutes to cook. Nedra is forced to go apologize to the table.

I think is as close as we're going to ever get of rawr food being smashed by his hands. After Ray serves more rawr halibut the men get kicked out of the kitchen. Game over, boys. Poor, Anthony, he cooked perfectly every time. The sous chef even comes back into the dorm with the plate of halibut and screams at them. That's way above what chef Scott would do.

It's now the women's turn to once again bring up raw pork. Thus resulting in the women getting kicked out as well.Gordon calls everyone back down to the kitchen and tells them that no, they're not going back in the kitchen, because he and the sous are finishing service the 3 of them. They each have to pick 2 people to offer before the alter.

Back in the dorms, Ray is throwing out a lot of "bitch"es and they're all directed Dan, instead of Amanda like the editors lead us to believe last time. I'm not sure why. A fight with Dan is always 10 times bitchier than it would be with any female. Ray is in the kitchen spewing his bitches, and everyone in their respective rooms can hear him. So Dan goes out there to tell him to shut up. There's a fake out moment where they try to make you think that someone will throw a punch. This isn't The Challenge. No one is actually going to punch someone.

The chefs go before the Kitchen God and are prepared to offer up their sacrifices. There is no dramatic moment where we're supposed to guess who's going to be the surprise nomination. The women offer up their meat chefs of Butcher Mary and Nedra, and then men offer up their fisherman Dan and Ray. All four are brought forward. Butcher Mary stays strong and admits to her mistakes with pork, but apologizes and owns up. Nedra apologizes as well for the shit that they served. Ray's turn to beg to not be given up on. Dan then becomes the bitch that he is and says Ray wouldn't let him cook so he shouldn't be up there. Nedra interrupts as Ray and Dan start clawing each other and says, "They can fight all the way, I'm going to sit here and tell you why I want to be here, Chef."  Wyclef pops in from the back saying that he thinks Dan should go because when Ray is cooking, Dan is running his mouth and he does that every service. Dan is even flipping him off from behind his back.

Dan owns up to it and Gordon can hardly believe it. After all this crap Gordon agrees he has the right 4 people. He can't pick which ONE to send home, so he in turn asks for each chef's jacket individually. I feel like we're getting a double switch up instead of the normal one female to go to the men's team and vise versa. Gordon says he's going to do something he's never done before. "All four of you..."

Gettin' real tired of your shit, Fox. Does anyone think I'm wrong? Next week we don't see any of the 4 people that are up for elimination. There are VIP's at the chef's tables and apparently one of them doesn't even get their food, they have to leave! The women's team is in disarray. We won't believe what one chef tries to get away apparently. Another situation where unprepared food could kill someone.

Well Addicts, I tried. I tried to write while lending a hand to 2 2 month old twin boys. It didn't work so well. The last 10 minutes of the episode took me 2 days to do. This will probably be the last posting until next Wednesday when I fly back to Wisconsin. Til then Addicts! 

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